IF I get married down the line, not wanting my wife to have a job is that ideal?
I was thinking about IT I don't make a whole lot of money, but I would like to provide for her if we had a child, I would like for at least the first few years of the childs life for my future- wife to stay at home and raise him/her to elementary.. is that a backwards way of thinking? can I achieve that? my gf has a great job, and i could see her becoming my wife and having a family. but I wouldn't want her to quit but I also wouldn't want her to work
.2016-11-26T07:13:11Z
It is ideal IF both you and your spouse desire it and can afford to live an acceptable (to you two) lifestyle that way. Not all women want to be stay at home spouses. You need to discuss this with your intended well before you marry, to ensure you two are on the same page, and even then understand situations can change and it might be that you two agree she'll stay home and raise a child, but circumstances end up with her needing to bring in an income to help support you all (there's also the option of working from home, which plenty of mothers do).
This is something that a couple decides TOGETHER. Don't marry until you can be partners with the woman you plan to marry. Also, when dating, choose a woman who wants the same type of lifestyle that you want.
Add - I started out in my marriage as the breadwinner as he finished his degrees. When we decided to start a family we decided, together, that one of us needed to stay home with the kids. I stayed home with the kids when they were below school age (this made the most sense as he made more and my job was more flexible). When they entered school I worked part time and was home when they were. As they grew I worked more and more. They are grown now. I am working in my field full time. All big decisions in our 29 year long marriage my husband and I discuss and decide together. We support each other and work very well together.
You are confused here son. If that is what you want then you had better be preparing yourself to have a high paying job. If your wife works or not is not really your call If she wants to work you cannot say no. If you want her at home with the kids you need to make enough money to cover her old paycheck or you will all starve or be on welfare. You need to understand that this is not something you just decide and she must go with. It is something to be discussed and agreed upon remembering that she has her own life and you do not own her or make decisions for her
It does make sense for her to stay at home in the first few years as it offers more stability for the baby. That is if you're income is enough without your girlfriend working. However, this would be her choice to make. She may grow crazy out of her wits end if she isn't used to something like that. She could always go for a few hours whilst having the grandparents look after the kid for a while but ultimately it is up to her. The problem would be- if she's off work for a few years, it may be difficult to find one again
It's not ideal. Men complain when they divorce that they have to pay so much money. You hope that it doesn't happen to you but you are in a much better position if she works.