Atomic Beam Flashlight?
I received one of those Atomic flashlights for my birthday. How much radiation will I be exposed to if I keep it in the drawer next to my bed?
I was approached by a wood be rapists so switched to the strobe function. He was blinded by the rapid pulsing of the Atomic Beam. Unfortunately, I was kicked, beaten, stomped, and made to perform disgusting sexual acts.
It was wonderful!