Depressed with our living situation, am I wrong?

My husband and I have been married for over a year and half. Ever since we have been renting out the basement at his sister’s house. I was never comfortable and never felt at home. For example the laundry room is right in front of our bedroom, I can’t tell you how many times, his sister husband has walked down and saw me in underwear, to use the kitchen I have to wait for them to finish because they have kids and they need to get them to bed, I can’t buy a lot of food because we only get on shelve on the fridge, it’s many little things that after a year and half it’s driving me crazy. I always liked to have my space and my privacy that’s the person I am and I feel like being married and not having our own place it’s very frustrating. My husband understand but doesn’t seem too interested in moving out. There’s always something, we need more money, we need better credit, we need to wait for the market to go down. The last straw was his sister got an aupair, so now there’s 7 people living in this house, it’s one more person coming downstairs to do laundry and I’m at a point that it’s making me question my marriage because I’m so depressed at this house, I spent the entire day working and was happy and all, as soon as I walked through the door, I started to get depressed and negative and I feel that it’s hurting my mental health. Am I wrong here? Am I the only one that think that couples should have their own place and be by themselves in the beginning of their marriage?

Anonymous2019-03-25T21:42:14Z

Since the 2 of you don't have children and are not yet married, just give him the ultimatum to find a place for just the 2 of you, within a couple weeks or just move out and away from him. I hope I'm wrong, but I think that if you continue staying there, his sister's husband is soon going to be trying to put his hands on you. A female in her underware can be very tempting to another guy.

nanny ogg2019-03-25T00:26:39Z

I am not surprised you are depressed. You need to make some action plans yourself, do your homework and find a cheap place to rent. When you have got this info tell your husband these are the plans. He sounds lazy to me, and you need to do the work for both of you. This is not a healthy start for either of you, time to write your goals down and get the hell out of that basement, and if you have to get the hell out of town.

Ace Shorty2019-03-24T15:18:53Z

You're completely right about everything you say. Tell him you are getting out of this situation with or without him.

Kim R2019-03-24T07:25:48Z

No, you aren't wrong to want to get out of there, and I'll bet his sister would like to have her house back, too. You should have plenty of money saved up by now since you've been there a year and a half. Make it your job to find an apartment within a reasonable distance from work, and start making things happen towards getting into it. Your husband needs a kick in the butt and to stop making excuses. It's time to go!

tellitlikeitis2019-03-24T00:14:54Z

What drove you to marry when you weren't properly able to provide a home for yourselves? Early marriage is tough for everyone, without having to move into someone else's home where you have limited privacy to get to know each other properly.
The only solution is to find a way to get the hell out of there. Even if it's into rooms rather than an apartment, so long as you are on your own. It's much easier when things are tough if it's just the two of you, and if you could manage something inexpensive, it doesn't need the best of furnishings, decorations, fixtures or fittings.
You aren't wrong. Get out of there as fast as you can.

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