I'm finally going to make this move but it is killing me to leave my boyfriend ?? Pleasee help?
So my boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. We've known eachother for a couple of years before that. Anyway, he is an amazing man, I love him so much because he's taught a lot and is great overall. Anyway, to try to make this short, we moved to this rural small town and I never liked it here, I'm a city girl and he noticed that, well I got an opportunity in the city and the job is waiting for my move. I have to move by this weekend and I have been crying non stop...could this be a sign that me moving is a bad decision? I'm not even sure anymore. I'm supposed to feel happy and ecstatic but instead I'm stressed. We also have bee arguing a lot lately and he knows I dont like it where we are. It's been hard to find a job and it's just not working... idk what to think
Foofa2019-07-20T22:51:30Z
Favorite Answer
Take the job and move to the city. Spend some time assessing this relationship vs. your own environmental desires. You may ultimately decide he's worth going back to... You may convince him to join you in the city... Or you might decide you're better off without him. But until you put some distance between the two of you you won't have the perspective to figure this out.
The thing is if you reject the job and accept to live with your bf in this small town you will have to accept this lifestyle whole heartily without any regrets. If you can’t do that then this choice will slowly begin to turn into resentment towards your bf which isn’t obviously beneficial for your relationship. But why do you have to end your relationship if you had to relocate for your job? Why is your bf not open to moving to the city?
It sounds like you two really may need to have a heart to heart, civilized discussion about everything that's going on and make a decision about whether it's a good idea for both of you to move? I don't know, really.
But in my world, i have discovered that my financial future is way more important than a relationship. No one else is going to pay our way hon.
Take the job, set on a career path, and invite your guy to look for a job in the big city. Don't provide him housing, just see if you are more important than the security of his living in a place he knows well. There's a good chance you will break up, but there's almost a certainty that if you stay in smallsville, you will grow to regret your decision not to try to make it.
Every relationship has its fair share of ups and downs. What you and your boyfriend are going through is normal. What I think you need to do is try and work on a compromise. Maybe you could try doing long distance or alternatively if your boyfriend likes the rural life style then perhaps organizing weekend trips to rural locations may satisfy this need. Regardless of what you choose you should know that there is always a solution to every problem ans as long as both your boyfriend and yourself put in the time to find it, then your relationship will survive. I really hope that this helps :)