Should I quit inviting this "friend" to different things?

There is a coworker who left and we said we would keep in touch. Whenever I try to organize a get together (usually with other coworkers), he says "Yeah I'm down for that!" Then the day that we do go out, he cancels at the last minute due to being "Tired" from work. He then keeps saying "We will get together, I promise!"

Just yesterday we were meeting up at a bar in his neighborhood, so naturally I texted and asked if he wanted to come since we were going to be in his neighborhood. He said he accidentally left his phone in his car so couldn't check it all day but "wishes" he would had known we were meeting up. People were telling me "Likely story..." but I still like to assume the best intentions and give him the benefit of the doubt.

Should I just stop inviting him to different things? It could be a sign he's genuinely not interested, but maybe he's also genuinely tired. What would you do?

Susie2019-08-17T20:19:49Z

Favorite Answer

I wouldn’t make “concrete” plans with him, unless he initiated them. But if a group is getting together, it doesn’t hurt to “check in” and see how he’s doing and tell him about the get together. Just simply inform him and say that he’s welcome to join in, then drop it.

seedy history2019-08-17T20:29:50Z

I think three times is enough. Have someone else in the group contact him as well so he has more than one number/person to reach out to if he remains interested.

Anonymous2019-08-17T20:21:58Z

Give up. He's not interested.

Texperson2019-08-17T20:13:16Z

You should quit inviting him. It would seem if he was interested in seeing you, by now he would have contacted you. But it's always you reaching out and him being "unable" to meet up. Let it go, move on.

Anonymous2019-08-17T20:10:59Z

Give him one more chance, if he backs out again, forget any more invites.