My bf of 9 years and I split up for 3 months . We recently got back together . During our break he purchased a home & I was in the process of purchasing a home when we got back together . Now he’s asking me
To move in & not purchase my home . I’m scared because we are trying to make it work and we’re not all that great yet . We have a l lot of fights over stupid things . So I’m scared to move in with him and then lose the house I wanted to purchase .
?
If in your heart of hearts you think things won't work out then I'd go ahead and buy the house. If things do work out you can sell the house (almost certianly at a loss) or rent it, or something; but that seemed like the right choice at the time.
If you do think things will work out or just don't know then I'd hold off buying the house. There is always another house you can buy if it doesn't work out but getting rid of a house you don't need it probably alot costlier than getting one after the relaitonship failed.
Anonymous
Cash is king
what ever the amount you planned on house payment plus 50% more* save in a savings account he does now know about, I assume you have a down payment saved already 25% at least if the best idea.
if you live with him you have the cash to do as you need later.
your mixing questions not a good sign of your good judgement
but fighting over stupid things shows your now doing well in the first place
what keeps you with him,? being honest answer this is he petty or are you petty or both of you?
being happy while living on your own 1st is the only way to be happy with someone else.
get a written agreement to terms of your relationship (prenup before marriage)
buying a house is about being ready and able to properly afford a house
* the extra 50% is because it cost almost double the house payment to buy and live in a house.
Cash is kings having cash you can never go wrong
my guess you are not emotionally ready to live with him or live alone,,,, most people NEED the other person for a mix of both reasons (not good)
A RELATIONS SHIP SHOULD BE #1 FOR SEX.... you can room mate with many people and not have sex mom sister etc
#2 is company again without sex this can be many people
#3 to agree to have a child and plan it out -- not unplanned but planned
FISCAL is not a good reason and to have someone take care of what you cannot is not a good reason like house cleaning or home repair and car repair etc . both men and women need to be independent in those ways so as not to NEED a servant or not to be a servant.
Judy
I might pass on buying a house while things are still uncertain, there will be other houses you like just as much. But do NOT move in with him while you're still fighting a lot.
hotstuffktr
Don't forgo the house, if it is one you really like. You know - just because you're dating doesn't mean you need to live together! Give it a year of dating, and then one of you consider renting out your house.
Pearl L
i would if youre fighting all the time