Do you think it's fair for the bio mom to get to change her mind about adoption after handing over the baby?
Personally, I do not. If a woman spends nine months swearing up and down that she doesn't want to or can't raise a baby for whatever reason and wants to find a family who can give the baby everything he/she deserves and then is willing to go so far as to actually SEND THE CHILD HOME WITH ANOTHER FAMILY, I don't feel like she should have the right to change her mind. It just seems so cruel to me that an adoptive family can spend months excitedly waiting for a baby, jump through all the necessary legal/financial hoops, then actually take a baby home and begin to bond...and then have it all ripped away in the blink of an eye.
I've never personally experienced this, but a friend of mine recently did, and it made me sick. I guess I'm kind of just curious as to what others think about it.
Ocimom2020-02-27T02:03:09Z
Adoption agencies usually have a time period for the bio parent and/or the adoptive parent to change their mind about the adoption. I recently found out that the judge granted my mom & dad a year to keep me and if they changed their minds, the legal adoption would not have gone thru.
Yes. It is fair. She is the mother. The baby has already started bonding..to her...in the womb. Pregnancy matters. Babies know their mothers at birth. "Handing over the baby" has no legal, moral, or ethical significance...because..babies are not simply "handed over" to random people, they must be legally placed for adoption in a legal process. Only when the legal process has been followed, which takes some time, after birth, is the child adopted. If the mother is within her time-frame to change her mind, or if her child has not even been legally surrendered, the mother is still the legal parent and has the right to take the child.I suspect this mother did not understand what she was doing until after her child's birth, when her child was born and then she and her child were separated. This is often when reality sets in. She may also have received poor counseling..or none.Many mothers who consider adoption for their infants never follow through with an adoption plan. I have seen figures from agencies as high as 80 to 90 per cent or more who do NOT follow through with the adoption plan.Hopeful adoptive parents are told this may happen at the outset, so yes, they do know what can happen.
i’m guessing you’re not a parent. Just the way you’re talking makes me feel like you’ve never had your own baby in your arms. Anyone entering in that kind if agreement is aware of the kind of situation they are walking into
I do not like pre-birth matching for exactly this reason.
Every single person or couple who plans to adopt an infant understands from the start that the child's original parents have the option to change their minds at any time up until the legal time period for revocation has passed. I think it is smarter for the child to go temporarily to a foster home until that time period passes so that the situation you describe does not happen.
Parents can and do change their minds, and they need to have the right to do so. Imagine telling your child someday, "Yes, your original mother wanted to keep you, but we refused and managed to keep you away from her even though she changed her mind within the legal time limit." That would not go well for the adoptive parents.