How can I improve on being faithful and stop lusting after other women?

Question

I am 38 years old my wife is 39 years I am truly blessed that I have my wife she is beautiful, sexy , hardworking a good mom and great home maker. But I struggle with lusting over other woman. I was lucky my wife forgave my indiscretion but I don't want my lust to cause me to not appreciate her , cheat on her and lose her. I often fantasize about women that are 22 years, 25 years or ex lovers . I lost one marriage in the past due to me and my ex not being a good fit and my cheating did not help. I am blessed with my wife and I want to be the husband she deserves but it is hard not to have lustful thoughts about other woman. I wish I could turn off these thoughts like a light switch because I know how counterproductive they are and I do not want to hurt my wife. Lately it feels like i am in survival mode in which I am just focused on getting through the day without engaging in cheating and it is unfair to my wife because she deserves me to nurture her and be in the moment

? · Answer

Find a device to shock your self when you find yourself lusting over other women. Don't jeopardize losing what is valuable to you for something that is cheap. It's a mind temptation you must not let get in the way. If you make your lustful thoughts become reality you are going to regret it.

Obi Wan Knievel · Answer

Nobody ever said you're not allowed to lust after other women.  Or other men, for that matter, because I don't judge.  You just can't do it.  The law (legislated, religious, social / moral) doesn't say you can't think about it, it just says you can't do it.  Everyone thinks about it.

I've been faithfully married for over 20 years, and I think about other women every single day.  The girl at the store where I buy cigarettes, the girl at the fast food drive-thru, several dozen girls where I work... they all make eye contact and smile, and I think decidedly unholy thoughts about them all the time.  But would I ever do anything with them?  No.  I might think about it, but I won't do it.

My wife is in the same situation, only she has the advantage of being a woman.  Women have sex with whoever they want, but guys only have sex with whoever they can.

Andrew Smith · Answer

I don't know the answer.  But if you do find out how to not feel lustful thoughts about other women please let ME know.  Life would be so much easier.

wind_updoll · Answer

Seems you’re possibly a sex addict, and you should seek professional counseling. There are also twelve step groups out there to help.

Erica · Answer

If I had to be straightforward, I would ask God for forgiveness and pray. Praying is meditation which helps reduce stress, promotes emotional health, self awareness and fight addictions (especially lust). Praying will help you become the best version of yourself and help your well-being. Like you said, you have a beautiful woman who loves and respects you. You will not lose another marriage but instead thrive a healthy relationship :)

How can I improve on being faithful and stop lusting after other women?

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