My father is a narcissistic, I knew this even before I got married. He demands attention from others and praise. When fathers days comes around or his birthday he expects my wife to drop everything and to cater him. He forgets she has a father as well and she has a full time job. It doesn’t bother me if I visit my dad for Father’s Day and my wife goes with her father. If works in my marriage to allow my wife to not forget about her family. My father is angry about this. He wants my wife to drop everything and visit him only. Is this normal? Or am I stupid for allowing my wife to spend time with her father?
?2020-06-21T07:13:27Z
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This is not normal and something you should address.
My dad died years ago and my father in law still doesn't expect me to drop everything (or anything really) for him on fathers day or any other day and we get along fine and he's not creepy.
OK, the major malfunction in your marriage is that you are living too close to the parental units. Even if your father wasn't an assh0le, he would still be interfering in your marriage because YOU made the mistake of living near him. Parents can't help but interfere, because they all want their children to have the exact same marriage that they themselves did. That's a problem, as each marriage is very unique.
So...your father insisting on attention from your wife is not a problem. It is a SYMPTOM of a problem. The problem is, you and your wife need to move so that you put great distance between yourself and the relatives.
Your father is not just a narcissistic, but also a selfish, only care about himself and think everyone's lives should revolve around him, but he is a grown man and need to understand he is not a baby anymore, who needs to everyone around taking care of him and putting him at first. I guess you should talk to him about and try to make him understand how selfish he is being. If he doesn't understand or doesn't accept, it's his problem, you can't do nothing, just respect his choice of being like that and keep your life as you've done. You are doing a great job, don't worry!
Why the hell are you talking to us, totally random strangers, about this? Maybe you could be a big girl and talk to your daddy about it instead. You're married, so presumably you're at least 16 years old, act like a grown up.