My husband’s best friend is cheating on his wife, and it’s really weighing on me. My husband is not OK with the affair, but he firmly thinks it’s not his job to ‘out’ his friend. I’m pretty close with the wife, and I truly think she’d want to know. I’m considering telling her myself, but am also wondering if it just isn’t my business.
This question came from a Yahoo article posted on 9/24/20
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I wouldn't do that because there's no telling how she will react.
Anonymous
Stay out of it. She probably already knows and will hate you for it.
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If she is your friend you should tell her. But do not bring your husbands name in the mix because that will stir things up in your relationship. You should find out where he goes with his mistress and bring his wife to confront him.
Coach Simon
He has put you in a very difficult position, and you and/or your husband probably need to confront him about it. If nothing else, you need to be absolutely certain that it is true. He needs to know that his wife is your friend and that you are in two minds whether to tell her or not. Does he confide in his friends? If his wife was cheating on him, wouldn't he want to know? You could even ask his advice!
Your husband does not seem to share your values if he goes along with his friend. Nor does he appreciate how strong friendships between women can be - and that very often they are stronger friendships than men have. He needs to support you more than his friend: he made his marriage vows to you - not this friend.
Good Luck!
Anonymous
What you know is gossip. Your husband shouldn't have done that.
If your husband truly knows for a fact that he's having an affair and it's bothering his conscience, he needs to man up and tell his friend that he has 48 hours to tell his wife or he's going to do it for him. It's better (IMO) for her to hear it from her own husband than to hear that hubby blabbed to best friend who blabbed, etc. and she's the last one in on the joke.
If/when wife needs your support, you can be there for her. But it is improper for you to butt in and instigate the destruction of relationships based on gossip.
Your husband is going to need your support too. He's likely going to lose a friend, but IMO it's the right thing to do.
If your husband is unwilling to man up and handle this directly with his friend and would rather gossip and let someone else handle it, I'd be pretty disappointed in his moral character.