Am I acting irrationally when I’m saying I’m not ready for marriage?

I’m a girl, born in 1996. In my culture, there is no “dating” there is just this thing when a guy is interested in a girl he lets her & her parents know that and tell them that he’s serious and would like to get to know her better then get engaged then married. And this is what happened with me. My mom’s friend’s 
son told my parents that he’s interested at the beginning of this year, when we were both about to graduate. I told my parents that I think he’s okay, but I’m in no way ready to get married soon, and that maybe next year we could start the “getting to know each other and getting engaged” phase then the year after we get married.
My mom’s friend was like, she’s already 23 ( this was in early 2020, now I’m 24) and I’m shocked?? It’s not like I’m 30! And even if I was, it’s my choice! both him and I just turned 24 and we both just got our average-paying jobs, if he was older and wiser and more stable financially I’d have considered it. But we’re both young, and I REALLY don’t feel ready. He didn’t say much, but I know that he’s very interested in getting married sooner than later (which I used to think is childish and hasty) But almost everyone around me says I’m being childish. I feel so sick and guilty and I just hate me for being like this, I used to think I’m right and I NEVER thought I would consider getting married before feeling ready. Now I just feel like doing whatever everyone is asking me to do. Maybe they know better.

Torvaltz2020-09-14T16:48:11Z

move to a country that isnt stuck in medieval times

Anonymous2020-09-11T23:00:55Z

YOU, in theory, know what is best for YOU.  That might involve marrying this man.  It might involve not marrying this man.

If you can't make your own decision, if you need the input of strangers who do not understand your culture, then don't marry anyone.

Foofa2020-09-11T20:02:52Z

You're not irrational. But if this your family's culture and you're in any way financially dependent on your parents you may have to either go through with marrying this stranger or become independent fast. 

?2020-09-11T18:43:43Z

Oh Dear! Remind your relatives (etc.) this is 2020, not 1820! Things have changed a lot in almost every way. Life expectancy, for example, has improved a lot: once people married young because so many people died when young, in childbirth, etc. You are your own person and calling you names is childish! 

Sure - get to know him, but remind him that you are not looking to marry him at the moment, and you don't need to. Make an agreement with them that you won't try to interfere with their lives and they can do the same.  

Good Luck!

oldprof2020-09-11T15:50:59Z

Don't listen to your parents and/or friends.  Don't even think about marriage until you both love and are in love with the person you intend to marry.  If you don't get turned on every time you think of him, if you don't feel empty inside when he's not with you...you should not be getting married to him.  There is no trigger age beyond which you should not get married.  Even old people get married.  So no rush.

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