Any tips on getting grandparents to use the correct pronouns?
Hi! So I recently came out to my grandparents as Non-binary, I also told them that I use they/them pronouns. Earlier we went to dinner and the continuously used she/her, even though my parents were using they/them pronouns and we all had a pretty long talk about my pronouns. Even right after that conversation “oh yeah, I think she’d like ———“. My grandma used an excuse “well, I’m just too old to change any of that now”. I know it takes a while to get used to, but it just really hurts.
Is there any way I can help them understand?
Anonymous2020-10-21T00:45:10Z
Favorite Answer
Just keep on reminding them. And get everyone else in the family helping too. Once everyone starts doing it they just might catch on. Just be patient and keep teaching. If you are in some kind of gay youth group or involved with a gay community center or pflag - once the pandemic calms down and there is some kind of get together or cook out for families - take them along. If they see other parents and grandparents adjusting to the pronouns it will rub off on them too.
You need to choose your battles wisely. Getting the grandparents to refer to you as they/them instead of the him/her and he/she pronouns they've been using for the past century is not going to happen. Maybe you can get your parents to go along with it, but as far as the grandparents go, pick a gender and stick with it. You are a singular person.
I do know that grandparents are perfectly capable of they them pronouns. If it helps, tell them to pretend that you’re 2 people. That may help since they them is used a lot it as it’s plural form.