How would you treat a friend poacher, someone you barely know who invites your friends out & excludes you?  ?

2020-12-12T04:29:51Z

I'll reframe this.  I've invited a new friend out with me while out with a friend or two. This new friend has attached herself to everyone she meets in my circle. What I find weird is that she goes out of her way to tell me she has plans on a certain day with a friend and later I find out it is with one of my friends. I'm not sure why she is being sneaky about hanging with my friends and excluding me. When I go out, she asks me who I was with and what did I do.  Weird.

2020-12-12T04:55:17Z

My feelings are not hurt because she doesn't include me, I think it's weird that she doesn't have her own friends to hangout with.  What's weird is that she doesn't want me to know that she is chasing my friends around and they later tell me and they also tell me she is a kook.

Foofa2020-12-11T21:00:46Z

If they barely knew me I wouldn't expect them to be inviting me out. That would just be weird. Your friends are allowed to have other friends too and most people don't expect to have to be saddled with a whole group if they really only want to see one or two other people. 

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seedy history2020-12-11T00:27:15Z

Like somebody my friends know. I don't have a "friend group" that associates only within themselves. I know we all have other friends we do things with. Honestly, I've never kept track of what everyone else is doing and with whom they are doing it!  

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choko_canyon2020-12-11T00:08:37Z

I wouldn't treat them in any way. I wouldn't deal with them.

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Mamawidsom2020-12-11T00:08:02Z

Like anyone else. Yes, it hurts to be excluded when the rest of your normal social group gets together, but that doesn't require you to behave in any particular way. Are you seeking retribution? Since you don't "own" any of your friends, I don't see why you feel someone is poaching them --  taking or acquiring them in an unfair or clandestine way.

If you want to know why you weren't invited along with other people, ask the people who were invited.  Maybe they have another connection to the new person that you don't. Maybe the new person doesn't like you because you are suspicious and possessive. Maybe they were wrongly informed that you weren't available or wouldn't be interested.  

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