My ex dumped me more than a month ago after a bad few months during quarantine. We still do text a lot, and she shows signs that she still loves me and wants to be with me, but she is scared that I will continue to treat her as I did before. Obviously I know what I did wrong, but how do I get her to give me another chance ?
David K2021-01-04T21:07:04Z
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Talk to her personally, not text. Ang go slowly, do NOT attempt to restore whatever intimacy you were having prior. Wait, go slowly, let her see by your actions that you're different. That may require first contact be in public place, such as coffee shop.
It sounds like you are unsure of who this guy is and what his intentions are (obviously), but what are your intentions and how are you interested?
It also sounds like you have a hurt ego as much as he does. (sorry). You still love him but you don't think he likes you anymore AND you don't trust him anyway. Your dying for this guy to talk to you seriously about getting back together, but he doesn't, because he is not. (serious about getting back together.)
The guy's not that interested. Sorry. He was really hurt and now he doesn't trust you. Now he has a boundary up against any serious relationship with you and it's unlikely he will ever tell you how much he cared.
His "jealousy" and "over-reaction" were an insecure form of a serious discussion. He tried to open up and say the words you really wanted to hear. You kicked him out.
Now you continue to demean him and paint him as a petty, jealous egoist. How on earth do you expect this guy to open up to you?
It is better NOT to. Having made a serious mistake it is likely to poison any future. Either you spend time grovelling (which demeans you) or you don't (which means she should have dumped you and left you dumped.)
Tell her you've changed because you've learned from what happened, and you won't treat her that way again. If you're being honest, this is what she needs to hear.