I got married when I was 25 and got divorced officially in November 2019. I took the time during the pandemic to focus on myself. I decided to move across country since I have no kids or anything. I started a new job last month in a new city. I’m getting a lot of pressure from family to try to find a new boyfriend/husband. My family keeps telling me things like you’re not getting any younger you’re 32, you have no kids, you’ve already been divorced. I really just want to take my time and make friends. Am I wrong to do this? Should I be solely focused on finding a husband or boyfriend or whatever? I just want to enjoy myself and socialize is there anything wrong with this? I’m just not in a rush to jump back into a relationship after my divorce. I want to focus on myself and enjoy my life. Everyone keeps telling me I’m not getting any younger and if I want to have kids I need to settle down soon but I’m just not ready to settle down right this second. Is there anything wrong with this? I had not been single since college so I just want to enjoy my life.
Foofa2021-04-13T14:44:08Z
The best way to "find a husband" is to not be looking for one. So just live your life and if it happens, it happens.
I, myself, applaud you for your down-to-earth common sense and intelligence over this. Janet Jackson had her first child at fifty! There are, of course advantages and disadvantages and disadvantages of being single, having children, etc., and you must live your life the way you choose, not what your family want.
Why would you want to focus on finding a husband when you don't even date right now? And your family (or no one) should ever pressure you about what you do in your personal life. That's a huge intrusion. I'd tell them just that - they are intruding.
Live your life according to what YOU want to do - always. Never have kids or get married at the suggestion of family. It takes a very special emotional bond to even consider getting married and starting a family. It also takes a willingness to want those things.
Take care of YOU.
You said you want to enjoy your life, so do that! And don't let your family pressure you. I wouldn't even discuss it with them. Again, i'd tell them their comments and urgings are intrusions on your life. Because they are.
They will keep asking if you don’t put an end to it. Hopefully politely. Personally I would probably get snarky about it. I am happy and when I am ready to date I will. Until then please don’t feel the need to tell me how old I am or how I am suppose to be married with kids.
You can change the subject abruptly or Hey the timer went off I have to hang up. - every time they bring it up. Any excuse will do. My daughter and her husband are really getting the when are you two going to have a baby. I waiting for one of them to explode and scream When we are damn well ready to and that might be never so back off.
Quit letting others influence you. You know what you should be doing and you are doing it. Enjoy your new job, new home and new friends.