Police Humor.Went to a family fight.Wife said You Don't care abot me.You don't even know what type of flower I

People don't think law enforcement officers have senses of humor, but they really do. The following were taken off of actual

police car videos around the country:

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're

new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your

birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In

case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a

9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I

guess that means I can write anything I want on the

ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,

but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that

I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you

not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine

whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat

or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a

place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,

and step in monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my

wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to

have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many

tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good

personal friend of yours. At least you know someone

who can post your bail."

AND yes, the best one (although, I really like #8)...

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't...sign here."

Good one. Stashed away for later reference.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Like that one. Noted for future use.

lol. thats funny

niiice :)