An old timer told me using lard would make it bigger...all we have in the house is shortening...?

Duh Shortening will make it shorter

"Thats your sign"

Duh this joke goes back to the 50's

Lard not expensive bud.......so I assume you checked out the "old timer" was telling you the truth and he showed you a "big one" to confirm the results

Some guys will say anything to put another male to test them and their intelligence

Get the proof before you invest

LOL, he was pulling your middle leg methinks.

While he may have used lard for some naughty things when he was a young one, that probably had nothing to do with his growth; puberty probably did that for him.

the old timer lied, and neither of those is a good idea to apply to any private place. use KY!

try 'I can't believe it's not butter' for its special penis enlarging effects!