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azayi1
Lv 5
azayi1 asked in TravelAsia PacificMalaysia · 1 decade ago

Can chinese marry more than one?

Just wondering. I have lots of chinese friends having a wife but at the same time having a mistress (thats what they call it). Is it permissible as respective to religion (let say buddha) as well. It is a sin to have a mistress?

Update:

homo sapein - i'm not wondering i'm just asking..

Update 2:

peacelover -- i'm referring to chinese that practise buddism.. (it is a sin)..

i know that in christian is consider a sin having a mistress

Update 3:

--

to HOMO SAPEIN --why i was block by u from answering your question? hm.. i wonder why.. are my answer is hash or not to your liking? :)

Update 4:

**

thebear - since when i summarize between chinese & buddism? i dont.. thats why this yahoo answer exist . dont they? is to ask question.. why u so jumpy on this question.. i appreciate u correct me about there's no concept of sin in buddist.. but dont be so hard on me. I'm just asking mate.. cheers..

appriciate the answers by true answerers.. :)

Update 5:

**

anderson P

- thanks for the hash comments.. well i know who the true answerer's is.. i think its u need to learn how to answer correctly.. by the way...U r not answering the question calmly.. Do u take the question personnally...

thebear -- tq for the extra notes.. & i;m not gay :)

30 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Marriage is considered a secular issue in Buddhism. As such, the religion is silent on issues of polygamy and monogamy. Marriage is seen simply as a social contract and is not believed to essential. No God instructed the Buddha that people should get married.

    In this respect monogamy and polygamy are not right or wrong (therefore, the concept of 'sin' does not exist here) but simply ways of arranging one’s life. However, Buddhists would not seek to promote relationships which were against what was allowed in civil law.

    Orthodox/Theravada Buddhist philosophy suggests refraining from extra-marital affairs which would harm the existing relationship between two. The decision on having a mistress is an extra-marital affair and is considered negative in terms of one's religious perspective/practice (unless consented by one's wife to have the second woman taken as a consort).

    There had been numerous mentions in Buddhist and classical Indian texts on the practice of consorts (as they are 'legal' wives, rather than extra-marital affairs) and none of them had been considered positive or negative as what determines it is one's karmic influences and intention (as per Islamic concept it is the 'niyat').

    *****

    Before you summarize, learn more about who is a Chinese or what Buddhism is. Also, it is important to know who is a mistress and who is a consort. They are all different and non-related in every sense and NO, Buddhism didn't come from China... LOL

    *****

    Azayi, there is NO concept of sin in Buddhist teachings, please do some research, will you?! Give us facts if you'd like to argue on this.

    *****

    Azayi, thanks for your kind gesture, but I am not mentioning about you summarizing anything here. Its just that your question seems a little vague and I don't quite get you, so my answer is mainly based on Buddhist concepts as you had mentioned in your question. Nothing to contradict here and I hope you understand.

    I am more concerned about the misunderstanding and ignorance about Buddhistic approaches by many Malaysians with this regard and most especially from my non-Buddhist friends. Buddhism have became a scapegoat for those who are lazy to explain their traditional cultural practices when being questioned and there is a strong misconception on this aspect. Many people call themselves Buddhists without even knowing the basis of Buddhist teachings itself, as per Hindus today who are ignorant about their own religion.

    By the way, I'm not being 'hard' on you. Just sharing... and this is the usual style of my write ups. Don't expect me to be manja with you cos' I'm not gay, matey :-)

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    For Chinese illegally can married one woman only. That is what Anderson had mention. If the same person has another woman is called mistress. So the answer is yes!!

    This is nothing to do with Chinese religious. Chinese are not all believed in Buddies. Most of the Chinese do not have mistress, for those who does is only the minorities.

  • dpkdrj
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Chinese have no religion,hence they are not restricted by rule.except the first one, the second becomes mistress,which is common for all.Buddhist religion does not suggest anything about having a mistress.Buddha left even his only wife,and advocated to leave all the pleasure of this world.most Chinese do not follow any religion.however ,it is not a sin, to have a mistress, may be a crime according to other countries which do not permit polygamy.

  • 1 decade ago

    I agreed with He he haha and if you r are underage, i suggest you have your parents with you whenever you are online. One thing good about YA is to educate ignorant child and little lost soul like you. Well, from today, start be friend-ly with non malay and non muslims especially on other religions so that you don keep on wondering and jatuh inside longkang. If malaysia is so harmony then you must be living on a tree somewhere in Bornea or Taman Negara for not getting to know other malaysians better!

    Religion asides, it is common sense to only have one legalised spouse. IT is the same under law everywhere in the world except Islam countries cos they cant separate religion with government/politic. This is fair hence horny men or gatal b""h want to have more than one, then it their bloody business whether their wife or husband excepted it or not, is also their own bloody business . Is the same why islam can allows up to 4 , so does it means that their man are so horny or the muslim women is so desperate that they don mind sharing. Some gave me answers that to legalise 4 wives is better than having mistress. So can we legalise robbery, raping, murdering to curb the problem?!?!

    Source(s): by the way, i happened to know many muslims men who has more 4 wives, and they also keep queit about it la. Not only that they even request for whores whenever they are on business trip ie Thailand , Indonesia. Can I typecast them?
  • 1 decade ago

    You can marry one but you can have many mistresses, as long as you have enough money to satisfy them all...

    This topic is not able religion. This is up to individuals. But looking at this from another angle, you can say it is sinful cos as a married man, your responsibility should be towards home. Most men tends to sway away and gets sick with their old wife. They tend to want something more attractive, whereby who doesn't want attractive things. Some are wanting mistresses because their friends have got one (which is worse cos such man doesn't even know what they want in life).

    Many a time, when I happen to know of friends having mistress, I feel sad for them. Sad for them because they are spending more money. Sad for them because they are setting bad impression to many others, especially their children. Sad for them and for the mistress that they cannot be seen going out together like a real family. Sad for them because they live their life in fear that one day the wife would find out.

    I am not too much in religion but all I can say is that today you meddle with other people's daughter whereby you cannot give her a name, someday someone else will meddle with your own daughter. Retribution is what I believe..

    My statement above are just my opinion and I hope I have not offended anyone reading here.

  • 1 decade ago

    Legally, no. Unoficially, yes. Only the legally married wife is recognised in the eyes of the law. Others, though known as 2nd or 3rd wives, are merely mistresses.

    Can't comment from the aspect of religion though as I'm not a staunch practising Buddhist. I've always thought that it's more of a matter of culture - men's culture! Look at men the world over and name me a place/country where no man has more than 1 wife, legally or not! That means no adultery at all!

    (I know, I know, some of you're going to get real defensive about this!)

    :)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    By the way, Musa, do you realise you're acting in a very juvenile manner - that means childish - by launching personal attacks on others. Grow up!

  • 1 decade ago

    I am a Chinese.

    Legally no. Cause our law doesn't allow.

    But practically, they are lots of people keeping mistress.

    There is nothing to do with Buddhism as Buddhism does not talk about this. It is more on the cultural issue from Chinese ancient history.

    Source(s): Some people did have more then 1 wife & live together happily.
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No way. It's illegal. You can only have a registered wife, others are mistress. For me it's wrong to have a mistress because you have a wife and you should be responsible to her, take care of her, and love her for all of your life. But now you have an extra one.

    It's wrong and illegal from the laws & moral.

    Buddhist and marriage? The Buddhist monks & nuns don't married.. So you think by yourself...

  • 1 decade ago

    Legally - NO!

    But they can take a second wife as a mistress without registering.

  • 1 decade ago

    The question itself and many of the answers seem to underline the general ignorance.

    Chinese are a race and not a religion. Chinese who are muslims will have to abide by muslim laws and can marry up to 4. Chinese who are Christians, Buddhists and other religions abide by their respective faith and whatever the rules are for marriages. Chinese atheists will abide by the secular laws of the land.

    Not all Chinese are buddhists. Unlike Malays, Chinese have a right to choose their own faith.

    Sad to see personal attacks by people like Musa. Grow up please.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hmm from what i heard dulu dulu

    its like having a mistress is a sign of wealth , prosper or something like that .. most of the time they will have one wife and a mistress.. but the wife will know about the mistress..

    one of my grandfather friends, he got one wife and one mistress and they live in one big house together with their 14 kids.. but the wife will have control of everything..

    religon wise i donoe

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