Mother-in-Law from hell is coming for Christmas - Help!?

Easy. The next time she starts up with you say,"That was a rude thing to say. Do you always insult people who open their homes to you?" Look her square in the eyes, keep your voice down, and try not to get angry. (If you feel angry, don't betray your emotions.) And, most importantly, WAIT for her to answer.

Comeback #2: "I don't recall asking for your opinion but thank you for offering it up." (Use a mildly sarcastic tone of voice when you say this.)

You also say: "That sounded like an attack. Was it meant to be?" Again, maintain eye contact, don't yell, and stay cool.

Another good one: "Would you repeat that?" Have her repeat the remark and then say, "That's what I thought you said." Walk away and say no more. (If you can't leave, changing the subject or initiating a conversation with someone else are good alternatives.)

Whatever you do, place responsibility for her behavior on her and DO NOT get upset. Your MIL may be trying to push your buttons. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

You are better than that. Try to never be alone with her so that your husband can hear whatever she says.Be your warm gracious self and you will win this. Try also to not bring it up to your husband again as it seems you already did since he said he would stick up for you. You will appear much better if you do not complain to him anymore. Just steel yourself to being charming and see how long you can last. Practice a few retorts to what you mention above that happened previously like ' I wish you would not clean please' said firmly.....or ' Dont you think that if I could weigh less I would by now?" with a smile on your face when you say it. But go someplace else in your mind. Go to a place where manners prevail and you unfortunately have to be a model of this. If you panic, your blood pressure will rise and every single comment will be magnified. Your past experience with her has power over you now. Also, have a place you can go if it gets really bad. Dont run out but rather say, " I have an errand to run, please excuse me' Then go to the park or a friends or a movie or something just to compose yourself. I am so sorry for you because you are a good person. I hope you can remember that at least she doesnt live with you!!!!

Wow. I'm sorry. Really. I'm literally sitting here with my jaw dropped. She sounds horrible! How does your husband feel about the way she treats you and your family? Has he talked to her about it? It might be best for him to take the heat since he's blood. Maybe he can get to the bottom of it. If there's no underlying reason that she treats you this way, I'm not sure what you can do. You could try being as nice as possible and invite her to all kinds of family events or your children's activities when they come around. Maybe she acts this way because she feels left out? I know my mom is quiet-spoken so she won't speak up if her feelings are hurt, maybe your mother-in-law is similar in that she's just showing her pain by the way she's acting? I'm really at a loss here. I still think it might be best for your husband, or the two of you together, to sit down and talk things out with her to make sure there's not something making her act this way. She may not even be aware that you and your family are taking offense. As far as the card that read "I hope the two of you...", maybe she's getting alzheimers? I certainly hope she wouldn't exclude someone on purpose. Family is family no matter what. I really hope things work out for the best. And good luck and congratulations on your 2nd bundle of joy! God bless.

Your husband might not see it because he's known her all his life and this is how she's behaved. You do have a few options. You can tell your husband you don't want her to come, or you can go to your families home.

Here's the thing. You'll never be able to change her. If you want, you can confront her when she does this things and chances are she doesn't even realize what she's doing. You can let her know that you consider her advice insulting.

I know that's not really what you want to hear, but there are no quick fixes here. She has boundary and tact issues. She's just rude and doesn't even realize it.

Good luck.

Sounds like mine! Let me tell you.............if he does stick up for you she is going to go through the roof!

I have been there, and when my (now) husband stuck up for me she blamed the whole thing on me, and then chocked me (no joke) I have always hated her since! I learned to get over it after 2 years and my husband and I had been talking to her recently and she just does not like me!Still......I am the mother of her 2 grandchildren and she can't hold back with the rude Sh!t, she drives me up the wall and we are not talking to her again!

Now she is sending emails and stuff telling him it is all my fault again!

Same goes for me.........she has not liked me from day 1 I have never done anything to her! And if you ask her what I have done she can't think of anything!

You figure this out and let me know how to get her off my back too! I think you must be my sister in law.........lol! Sounds like the same woman, or maybe she has a twin!

Anyway, what to do about her! Give the same attitude back to her that is what i do and she can't take it and sometimes will give up and just not talk to me, yeah! Maybe she will realise that you are here to stay and give up!

I have tried that tactic also and it did not work!

Tell her like it is, who knows!

You shouldn't expect your husband to stick up for you - what YOU need to do is set boundaries with your MIL. Tell your MIL that there will no longer be any comments, presents or any type of reference to your weight at all. If she violates this rule, then she needs to be kicked out immediately. If your husband refuses to kick her out - then you need to leave and go stay with relatives or at a hotel. You don't need to put up with this verbal abuse - you are an adult and you can set your own rules and boundaries. If you are at your MIL's house - leave with your car if she violates the rules. Don't stand there and take it. Once you tell her your weight is off limits - that's it - don't let her get away with anything.

Put her in her place it is your home and if she can't simply respect you she should not come around. Tell her that you have had enough of her criticism and that it is time for it to stop. Tell her that she should not hate you for taking her son away because you didn't he married you and you love him and that you love her too but she does need to stop with all the rudeness. Best of luck and remember it is only for the holiday and do remember she is doing it because regardless you took her son from her and even if you know you didn't she still sees it that way.

This is your home too... right... so don't let her put your down... if she does.... just tell her you don't appreciation it.... if she continue to be rude.... tell your husband she can stay 2 nights and that it...... no one deserves to be mistreated in there own home....you are an adult now and she should treat you like one... so you get to decide how much of this you want to put up with....we give people the right to mistreat us if we put up with it.... good luck!!

honey, do not allow her to rule you. You take your stand, as she is coming to your house. The first time she says anything insulting, you tell her to put a sock in it or leave. You feel comfortable in your own home. Good luck to you. Don't tolerate anything.

this sounds terrible. just tell her that if you are the one who has to take care of her in her old age she will get exactly what she deserves. lol