Trying to Understand This Jehovah Witness Thing.?

No, what the questioner describes is certainly NOT a normal or expected thing for Jehovah's Witnesses.. ..

Each congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses does arrange smaller study groups to meet in private homes, but in most cases the homes are proactively volunteered (only reluctantly would a local body of elders approach a congregant about a study group's need for another meeting place). It would be remarkably odd for a homeowner to host a study group from a different congregation, and there are no circumstances in which it would be appropriate to arrange for such meetings without the active involvement of the homeowner or renter.

The homeowner is never expected to provide refreshments for such meetings.

Unless there has been some astounding level of miscommunication, it seems possible that the questioner's relative has simply felt herself unable to say no to the request to use her home. She would not have been "punished" in any way for refusing. Perhaps her cultural (rather than religious) sensibilities compel her to offer refreshments. In a few months the controversy will be moot; in January 2009 these study group meetings in private homes will be replaced with a meeting of the entire congregation at the congregation's Kingdom Hall.

No, that is not normal or even correct behavior. I do believe that you may be telling the truth in what you are saying. I notice some are questioning whether what you're saying is true or not but, really we can't say you're lying. Sometimes things do happen that aren't supposed to. Every congregation can be different though they're supposed to be the same.

The congregation I was in most recently was very overbearing in my opinion. For instance, when I started the ministry school, it wasn't because I went to the elders and told them I wanted to join the ministry school, it was because another sister went to the elders and told them SHE felt it was time for me to join, which I was irritated by because I started the ministry school when I was 6 years old and it was because I went to the brothers myself and told them I wanted to join not because anyone coaxed me into it. Yet at the age of 22, after joining a new congregation when I moved, this sister felt SHE should go tell the brothers to put me on the school, which she did.

I also had an elder come to me telling me that it was time for them to sit down and discuss that I start pioneering. Another thing that I THOUGHT was supposed to be a personal choice. Now I am not trying to "bash" Jehovah's Witnesses, because I am one myself, was raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses and I feel that my family members and some that I grew up around set a great example of how Jehovah's Witnesses are SUPPOSED to behave. But congregations can be different because the things that I mentioned above are things I NEVER experienced at the congregation that I grew up in. These things happened when I got married and moved to a different congregation.

My suggestion is that if this did happen. Your mother-n-law should just tell them she's not comfortable having the study in her house. She doesn't HAVE to do it. I'm pretty sure they don't have a key to HER house. So, they can't just let themselves in.

I'm surprised that this would happen though because my mother has OFFERED to have the book study at her house several times to the elders when they announced that they were looking for places to have it an every time they told her "we'll get back to you" and never let her do it.

Is it that she just doesn't like having the book study there and doesn't want to tell them she doesn't want to do it? If so she still has every right to tell them she doesn't want to and she's not going to receive any "punishment". Also, as someone else mentioned refreshments are not mandatory. The book study only lasts 1 hour so it's not like anyone would starve in that short period of time. Some book study groups choose to have refreshments served on a specific night each month just for the sake of socializing but it's definitely not mandatory. I've been to book studies that do I've I been to ones that don't.

The not letting her participate part is very strange because if they had some concerns that she was not qualified to participate they definitely wouldn't let her have the study in her house! It's contradictory.

I'm sorry but there is a glaring problem with your story.

"But one of the other congregations has scheduled bible studies at her house every week on their own without asking her."

This is most unlikely.

1. The study would never be placed in her home without asking her first.

2. The study would not be from a different congregation, not done that way.

"She even is required to have refreshments available to them…"

At this point your story collapses. No one is REQUIRED to provide refreshments.

Either you misunderstood the situation or you have made this up.

Umnn...No. This does not happen. Or you have got the facts wrong.

The congregation would never 'take over' anyone's house for a book study or anything at all.

I had the book study in our home for about fifteen years and it was because we volunteered to do it. We, by our own choice might have a cake and coffee night once in awhile, but that was our idea, no one else made us do it. We thoroughly enjoyed having the book study in our home.

IF what you are saying is somewhat true perhaps your mother-in-law volunteered the use of her home but now wishes to stop having the book study there. If that is the case all she has to do is tell her elders that and they will make the change to another location. Simple as that.

I am sorry, but that just would not happen! If it did, the ones that are "taking over the house" would be in serious trouble!

As it has been said, it is usually from volunteers, but some have been asked. If there are no homes available then it would be held at the hall! As for the feeding, that is something everybody would bring with them. Also it would be someone from that hall that would be asked. She is not in that congregation, so she would not even be considered!

This is indeed silly for this never happens , ever ... Never have i heard of anyone allowing people into their home without it being OK , and second no one is ever excluded from a home bible study in that home unless they don't want to attend in which case the bible study would not happen without the owners permission..... What you are saying does not make sense and i have been studying for over 30 years and never have i seen this happen ..... If the owner does not want this in their home they have only to say so , no one is ever imposed upon to do so , ever...............

There do exist several groups who call themselves Jehovah's Witnesses, who are mostly ex-JWs who refuse to admit to reality. I've seen some listed in the phone book. They do not behave like JWs---that's in part why some/many of them were disfellowshipped. This might be the type of group that you are describing...

This is by NO means "a Witness" thing.

I am a Christian, one of Jehovah's Witnesses. The house holder, generally volunteers, and if not volunteering, certainly would be asked. They are under NO obligation to offer refreshments, and certainly wouldn't be "not allowed to participate"

It sounds like either, this is a fake question (no offense, but it happens), a miscommunication, or someone is lying to someone. Either you are being lied to, or your mother in law, is being lied to, if the story is true, because what describe has NO connection to Witnesses.

Very odd, I had a book study in my home, we asked if we could have one since we had enough room for both our guest and cars they would be arriving in.

I was never required to serve refreshments at our book study.

Are you sure you are understanding your mother in law correctly?

This is normal to an extent. Your mother in law possibly feared ridicule as a result of declining having her house used for a weekly book study. The fact that a congregation she doesn't attend requested this of her is unusual.

I don't understand why she wouldn't be able to attend it though as it's in her own house. Possibly because it's for another congregations members? I think that would be up to her ultimately and there would be no reason why anyone would tell her not to or why she shouldn't be able to unless she was disfellowshipped but if that was the case, they wouldn't hold the book study in her home.

The refreshments thing isn't a requirement. It's more of something that j-dubs do post book study to socialize. The days that we'd have refreshments after book study were the ones I actually looked forward to. he he. Can't complain about getting some free cake.

I believe that these book studies are going to be no more starting in January of 09. She needs to just call the shots and be like, respect my spot, this is my pad.

edit: I like how I'm getting voted down by all the Jehovah's Witnesses when my answer is pretty accurate.