What are the odds of me winning this custody battle?

People have problems like this everyday, so your story has a lot of precedent. Your chances of winning in court are quite good, especially since he lives in DC and can't take her. The court usually sides with the biological parent over the grandparent, unless they can prove that the biological parent is unfit.

As far as your daughter not wanting to go... That is very common. Children don't usually want to move, change is tough for them. Being 13 makes this change even harder since peers become even more important to them, but 13 year old children move all the time, and I promise you they survive, no matter how much they think that they won't.

Her education is a different story. Yes, the school in Kansas probably isn't failing, but that has little to nothing to do with the teachers or the teaching methods. CT's standards are MUCH higher than Kansas' making it much harder for a school to "pass" in CT. You will probably find out that she had a much better education at her failing CT than her passing Kansas school. Crazy, I know. Let's hope that will change soon, the new president says he is going to revamp the laws and one of the things being talked about are National Standards.

But honestly I wouldn't let the NCLB laws deter me if the move seemed better. You will be able to compensate for the change in her education if you try hard. Get her involved in enrichment programs, especially science and history (Two of the area's that the Kansas' education system is extremely poor in.) give her an enriched environment in the home. (Make sure that you do fun and stimulating things together during free time (museums, nature centers, art classes, plays, anything she is interested in.) and talk about everything and she should be fine.

Unless your ex can prove that you are unfit, you probably will win. She is 13 and no 13 year old wants to leave and move; however, you are the parent and if moving puts her and the family in a better financial and educational situation then the move in the long run will be beneficial for her. She will make friends at the new place, just make extra time for her once you have moved until she adjusts to the new place. She will also thrive from having extended family closer as well and the support system that it provides.

I think you will win.

Have you been served with papers from the father yet? If not, just pack up your stuff and move & take your daughter with you. Of course, if you have been served with court papers, you cannot do this.

I don't blame your daughter for not wanting to move to Kansas - have you ever been there? Yikes! Nevertheless, she has no say in the matter. I assume you are moving there for a better job or opportunity of some sort. (I certainly hope it's not for the scenery.)

This is a major life event, so I would definitely consult with a family law attorney in CT before you do anything.

I'm sure you will win, you are her mother and your reasons for moving are legitimate. But I think you need to stop looking at this as a battle with her dad. She is 13, granted not the most levelheaded age, but she is not 5, she has a working brain, wants and needs. Why don't you just try it her way, without the battle in court. You have got yourself a loose-loose situation here, if you win, you loose because she will resent your not listening to her wishes. If you loose, it will leave you on bad terms. Are her grandparents unfit? Are they abusive? If they are then you should of course fight it, but if they are not you need to think about letting her try, she may hate it and miss you terribly and want to move with you anyway. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is not fight. You need to think about the damage this fight might cause to your relationship with your daughter in the long run.

think of it this way - you want the best for her, and although what you are doing is good for her, think of how you would feel in her position. i know i wouldn't leave my friends... you just have to put your daughter first, its part of being a parent. i think the answers simple, but its up to you... if you really want to go ahead, im not too sure you will win...