im sorry, but i kinda need to vent...help please?

At this point, you do not have to obey by the court order to see your dad. By 15, you have the right to say no to visitations and to not see him. You do have the right to petition the court to have him removed and request adoption. It is a long staking process because your dad has to give up his rights before your step dad can adopt you. To which, your dad is the type to say no, just to have control of the situation.

So if he shows up to your school again, let the teacher and counselor know that you are not safe with him and you are requesting authorities to remove him from campus.

In high school, I had a friend had to the very same thing with her mom, who seems like your dad's "twin" in this situation.

It is also best your parents file for sole custody and get a court date in order. Have a diary of his actions and a list of people to contact about his actions. If he comes to your house, video record the situation and call the cops for his removal and thus also use it as evidence of his behavior in court.

As far as your mom and step dad. You need to get a back bone and remind them you are 15 in school and should be using that time with friends and activities, not a babysitter. So in the house, you will have choirs (dishes, laundry, maybe vacuming) but you should not be responsible for picking up after them (a job they should be doing themselves). If they are gone alot, either a real babysitter/daycare of think about another career choice.

Kids are suffuring in this situation while these adults, who are suppose to be responsible, are not doing their parenting job.

Your brother might be into drugs due to his own situations as you are with your body image.

Your school is important so i recommend you discussing with your parents you are concerned about your grades and going to be getting involved in activities to get them to come up (staying after school, math/english/tutoring classes offered after school or with friends as study groups) etc.

I am sorry you feel no one cares about you. I think they do, just they need to be reminded they have been too busy to see what is really going on.

Even though we are strangers on Yahoo, we do care and that is why I am writing a response to try to help/guide or even talk.

I went through that time where I felt no one cared and right now, I feel the same about my own family and so called "friends"......really does suck to feel that way. But have to face reality and deal with it by altering your own life, starting by saying you are human and deserve more respect.

You should call the cops on him for making death threats to your mom. And I'm sorry you have to go through all that. It's disgusting the way the courts put the parents before the kids. The child should be able to pick who they want to live with and whether or not they want to see the other parent, no matter how young the kid is. You need to remember that your whole life isn't what it is right now, it's not over. You need to keep your grades and your hope up and stay healthy so you can have a better future. And believe it or not you do have people who care about you. Good luck. =]

Wow. Parts of your life mirrored mine. What you need to do is start a notebook and write down everything your dad does. Times, dates, events, threats, anything you think is important. Don't let anyone know you have this notebook, especially your dad. If you feel unsafe or threatened, don't go see your dad. You should be able to tell your side of the story to the court and if that should come up, you will have documentation as to why it is unsafe and unhealthy for you to be in his life. If he threatens anyone, the cops should be called. If his life is in a downward spiral, he may become more forceful, angry and manipulative. Can you write him some sort of a letter telling him how scared, hurt and worried that you are? All I know is that you don't deserve to go through this and people do care. I sure do and I don't even know you. I feel like crying for you actually. I had an alcoholic father and a very stressful life. I am married and have a family of my own now and actually took care of my father in his dying day. Whatever you do, don't go down the path your brother is going. Stress like that can lead to self medication by drugs and alcohol. You have to be careful. Also don't let this situation affect your health. Start making plans of your future. Start a scrapbook of hopes and dreams of how your life will be different. When your stressed, start cutting out pictures of nice houses, wedding dress, cool stuff to put in your house. Kind of a diversion. I sure wish I could give you more advice. You need to keep safe. Start that documentation and use it if you need to. Good luck. Email me if you want. Here is a big hug and kiss XO.

http://teenhelpcenter.webs.com/suicideanddepressio...

I'm really sorry you went through this. It's hard to have a parent like this but in the end it will make you a stronger woman. It did me. My mom was like this only she never drank....well not like it appears your father does. Just wait it out and keep up with the letters. Have a tape recorder with you at all times just incase he shows up and starts his $hit or have a digital camera with you and record him that way. Get as much proof as you can and then use it against him. I really hope things look up for you.

Also the above link it a link to my website. From what you are saying you have many signs of depression and I really think you should get some help. If you need anything at all do not hesitate to contact me. taytnedfla@yahoo.com is my email. I check it daily sweety so I will always reply to you. Keep your chin up. Everything will eventually fall into place.

don't feel hopeless. as you said, you could go to court, but if i were you, i'd first file a restraint on your dad. you could testify to the court all those death threats, and other abuse that got you traumatic. your brother's testimony would be great, but the drug thing would really impair his testimony. There's this thing I watched in Gossip Girl about Jenny wanting to file for emancipation from her parents, maybe you could do that to your dad. Or have you tried pleading with your dad to stop seeing you, because you're simply not looking forward to his company and that he scares you? Maybe the reason why he's so persistent is that he thinks that your mom's feeding you nonsense, leading you to think he's such a bad man. I guess you should really try to communicate with him and tell him everything. If that doesn't go well, you could go to the court. Anyways, you only have at most 3 more years to completely be free of your dad's grasp. At the age of 18, you won't have to comply and you could really sue your dad.

Hay it does not matter what you birth father is like only what you are like from what you have said you are doing just fin, just to keep thinking about the good times you have had with your mom and step dad and wish you the best with it all

Did the court order how long each phone call had to be? if not then just do the phone call say Hi and then hang up on him

best of luck with this

It's a good start that you know it is okay to vent.

My heart really goes out to you because I was in a similar situation. Believe it or not, there are people out there that does care about you. Your mother and step-father for one, he wanted to adopt you so that you can sever contacts with your biological father.

The whole Cinderella thing, its actually kind of normal. I know you don't want to hear that. Unfortunately, as girls, we're expected to be more responsible than boys. Doesn't mean that its fair, though.

I just want you to know that it won't be this way forever. When you're at rock bottom, there is only one way to go. In the mean time, keep venting. :-)

P.S.- If that effing fool tries to put his hands on you again, put is a$$ in jail. ;-)

Aw.... That really sucks. I never realized I had it so good.

I'm sure your mom and your stepdad care about you. Have you tried talking to either of them? They might not realize how much stress this is causing you, and they won't know unless you tell them. They can (and want to) help you.

Your dad sounds like an irresponsible asshole. I'm sure you've already realized that, but here's some reinforcement.

Stay strong! If not for yourself, stay strong for your siblings. They need a good role model to look up to, and it doesn't look like your brother or your dad is that good of a rolemodel. Find positive influences. People in this world love you, and you may not know it, but they do.

Also, you can probably file for a restraining order against your dad; either you or your mom if he's making threats like that.

Good luck! I send all of my blessings to you.

I extremely sorry about your situation and I hope that your father does not succeed in regaining partial custody over you. You should know though that even though things seem completely horrible, I mean utterly unthinkable, you will be okay. You are smart enough to talk about your feelings and realize when you need help. This will be a huge help in every aspect of your life. It takes a big person to admit that they aren't doing so good and you are a big person. He may make you feel as if you are not wanted but your mother, step-father and brothers truly care about you. You will be fine. Believe in yourself and relax, it will work out because every hill goes up sometime. I hope you feel better and don't ever EVER feel inadaquate. :)

your not the only one im 15 to and i pretty much went through that as well . my dad is seriously screwed to the head and always picks on me and my stepmom does too and he dosent do anything at all to protect me all i have is my mom and im thankfull i have her. it sounds so wrong but i dont think i would i care if my dad died most likely because all he ever does is make me cry and feel guilty for him. and he always screws my mom over and it isnt fair at all . hes never had a care in the world at all he dosent give a **** about anyone but himself . and i just wish i could move away from him and this place and just go somewhere else and finally be happy.

sorry that i vented i dont think it helped you much but just know your not alone in this and if you need a friend or someone to confid in you have me you can email me if you want paulinapeacee@yahoo.com

-paulina