NONsmoking spouses of smoking parents?

"believe me, I sympathize with smoking habits, BUT, I cannot abide by the habit exposed to my 6 year old daughter!

And, I think it is very selfish...once one becomes a PARENT, one should think ONLY of the children? am I wrong?"

You didn't see this as a problem when you married a smoker? There's that common sense again.

My father smoked 3 packs a day around my sister and I, plus we had 3 grandparents smoke around us too. We turned out normal healthy kids.

Your daughter will too, if you let her. Living in a paranoid atmosphere is alot worse than being around someone who smokes. Paranoia us hereditary.

If second hand smoke was as dangerous as people believe it is, there would be nobody alive in their 50s and 60s.

Both my parents smoked.It was fashionable in those days and glorified on the film set.You never saw a film star without a cigarette.However it left me with a fog on the brain, devoid of rational thought.Nobody realised the consequences of smoking then, My mother who was a teacher gave up first and my father later.Not long after that my father developed a bad chest which eventualy killed him.I have never smoked myself or my ex wife, so my children were not exposed to smoking at home but i did own a pub for 10 years and inhaled more passive smoke than most people.

In your case, I would suggest you ask your husband not to smoke outside when he is playing with your child.

I take it that you are a non smoker and can actually smell it on a persons clothes that way.

I would have thought that the fresh air would dispel any aroma.

"once one becomes a PARENT, one should think ONLY of the children? am I wrong"

Not being a parent I have to say you are wrong, but may be wrong myself.

You emphasis 'only the children' and that I believe is wrong.

To me the number one concern should be the family unit. I often wonder when I see the numbers for divorce rates, solo mums and dads, that if they had tried to concentrate on the family unit, other than themselves, or as you put it "the child first", if the marriage may have survived.

If she smells that strongly from smoke, when she and her dad have been outside and he was smoking, then it is probably something else.

It could be that dad is either teaching her to smoke or just allowing her to have a few puffs when you aren't looking!

Next time they go out, find a way to watch them the whole time without their knowledge. I bet you will see your daughter smoking, and most likely, enjoying it greatly! When this happens, though, don't make a big deal about it, because if it causes a big fight with your husband, your daughter will feel guilty about causing problems between you two, and this pain could last a lifetime. It would be better to just allow her to continue on this limited basis.

I don't begrudge my husband cigarettes. Life is hard and everyone needs a vice. It's his lungs, his decision. I however do not like it when he smokes in our apartment. I didn't mind when we had a whole house with an entire basement for him, but smoking in our smaller one floor home that has an attached balcony annoys the hell out of me. He will not stop, however, and we have a 6 year old.

I really doubt that my daughter will have any adverse health effects, especially since doesn't have allergies, asthma, etc., but it does reek up the house, which is especially hard for those of us who don't smoke.

I think even though you're parents, you should still keep your own identity. Anyways, if your husband smokes, that's fine. However, he should have enough self-control to not smoke in the house, car, or anywhere near the children.

I'm a mom who smokes but I don't when my daughter is near or can see what I'm doing.