Text or phone conversations?

We have 2 younger family members who are extremely difficult to get along with and due to their past abusive words and actions, our relationship with them is very strained. We're hosting Christmas at our home and all family is invited, including these two family members.

My husband invited all family via phone conversation. One of the difficult ones sent me a text message a week later to ask what to bring - this person has refused to speak to me or acknowledge my phone calls or voice messages for 4 months.

My husband does not want me to respond to any text messages or email messages by these difficult family members because they've used text and email messages to abuse us in the past, freely composing abusive messages that they'd find harder to say over the phone or face to face.

So, DH wants me to limit communication with them to conversations over the phone or in person.

So today I tried to call this family member in response to their text. As usual they don't answer the phone. I left no voice mail, I just hung up. They will see a missed call from me on their phone and can call me back - or not. Most likely they'll continue their recent triangulating behaviors and obtain the info from someone else in the family, sidestepping talking to me altogether.

DH does not feel it Is unreasonable for us to expect to have a personal conversation with a person who's been invited into our home for Christmas.

Others have said I'm being prideful for not just sending a text message response. Another said we are causing even worse damage to the relationship by not responding via text message.

I'd like to hear others opinions.

My DH says texts are too impersonal and since these people haven't given us the time of day for 4 months, excluding us from their gatherings etc, that we are not being unreasonable for wanting some personal communication with them before they enter our home on Christmas.