was I rude with my response?!!?

My bf's older sister has always been kind of stuck up and snotty but I've dealt with it (I've been dating my bf for 5 years now)...

she has always acted like she's better than us and this past year, has acted like she's been in competition with me as we both have 3 girls about the same ages (mine are 10, 8,and 7 and hers are 10, 8, and 3). for example, I got beach photos done while on vacation this past July and blew them up to put in our living room. 3 weeks later, she emailed me asking me if she could borrow the dresses I used and took pictures of her 3 girls too-doing the same thing in her living room that I did!! I then mentioned I was going to use the pics as our xmas card pictures this year and she did the exact same thing!!!

It's our turn to host christmas this year at our home and it's the first time my mom,stepdad,my stepdad's parents,my sister &fiance,and my brother & girlfriend will be coming!! my bf's older sister and her family usually come (his younger sister went back home to IL for xmas this year)

I sent out an email asking everyone to let me know what food they were bringing so I can get the dinner organized and my bf's sister emails me back this reply:

"I invited my mother in law to come have xmas dinner at my house christmas eve so you and your family are welcome to join us instead of us coming to your house christmas day for dinner-your family is going to be there anyways. I don't want to do too much double cooking for both days. If you'd rather us come to your house I guess I can bring some rolls and maybe some pies-it depends on how busy I am. please let me know what you think as I'm working all this week (including christmas eve) and have alot of stuff to do.

I was hurt and appalled that she could be SO rude to me!! this lady does work full time but has a LIVE IN nanny AND a housekeeper so it's not like she has a million things to do. I work full time too (night shift working tonite and tomorrow so I won't get much sleep christmas eve day) and I raise my 3 kids with NO nanny and I clean my own house!!!

I emailed her back saying:

"I would rather the entire family spend christmas together. Our families haven't done much blending and it would be nice to have everyone finally get to know each other plus, this will be my brother's first time visiting our home. If you would rather do things with your own family on your end then that's fine. I'll just bring the gifts we bought for the girls (her kids) to church service with us xmas eve (since we're all going to the service together). I am just trying to get everything organized as I will be working all night the 23rd and will only get to sleep about 5 hours xmas eve. In addition, I do not have my two oldest girls xmas eve (they will be going back to their dad's after church) and I think they might be disappointed if you guys don't come christmas day. let me know what you decide...

and that was it. I was trying to hint that she was being selfish and rude. we've always done the holidays as a family and we ALL went to her house on thanksgiving (and I worked the night before) plus I had sent out the evite invitation months ago but she never responded. I didn't like how she made it seem like she was better than my family ("and your family is going to be there anyways") kind of like she didn't want to associate with them...

thoughts? was I mean?