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My boyfriend broke up with me after 5 years, after many times I attempted to break up with him, hes done it.?
This might be a it long, so Im sorry people!
I had been with my boyfriend since I was 16, he was shy, I was shy, we were both each others 1st, but he was muslim, and I was sikh.. which is quite a huge problem, but at that age we didn't think much..
Over time, he became more confident, began to get more goodlooking, got rid of his spots, braces and started getting more female friends, whilst I kept myself to myself, like a loyal gf, but he always re - assured me that he loves me so much. We have had many ups and downs thruout, tears, arguments, even violence, the police got involved.
Earlier this year, 2009, we went thru a really rough patch, and I found out he went clubbin with some older women and a few guys, and started texting one woman he met constantly, behind my back, even whilst he was texting me he texted her more, till erly hours of the mornin.. Even wen we went to hotel, he texted her in the toilet.. I found out myself, becoz of his phone bill. Wen i confronted him, he sed it was a friends bday at a restaurant, but really it was a girl mates 28th bday at a club, I only found out it was a club a few months ago..
Ever since weve bn up n down, i still dint want to leave him, but always threatend break up becoz of how upset I was bout wat he done, but then we would just start joking bout normally,weve had gud days too, but also very bad days, stressful arguments which me n him both bn sittin in the car crying like babys, shaking and mentally withdrawn..
Fings were going quite fine recently, nov-dec, but hes bn doin so much overtime that I aint seen him much and i bn acting really moody. he asked me for 1grand loan, and aftawards told me its for a family business, i was angry at the thought of me giving money towards their family, becoz i know they always wanted me to break up with him because of religion..
So coz of these arguments, whilst i bn such a ***** to him, hes always bn sayin that i should be understanding and there for him, why do i hate his family so much, he loves me, misses me, doesnt want stress.. n i bn rude and ignorant..
last saturday he texted me saying hes with his mates, n i got a bit paranoid wen he dint reply to my texts, so I rang him that nite n he sed he cant even spend sum time with his mates, i stress him out too much, afta a long hard day he goes home only to chat to a moody grump like me, i got so upset i screamed i wana break up, not knowing that this time he accepted it..
a few days lata i sed lets meet up for a chat, he goes no, we shouldnt.. n i kept saying why.. n he sed its the same ongoing ****, gona make up then argue, and he sed we should both just avoid this stress now, hes the only money maker in his family, coz his mum n da dont work, and he has too many responsibilites, he cant hack a relationship rite now.. i cryed so bad over the fone, but he wasnt so upset, he was stern..
next day he sed we can never marry because im sikh and hes muslim, his parents wont ever accept me, what religion the kids goin to etc..
the next day he sed its coz the last time he was his own person was wen he was 16, he wants to be alone, not in a relationship, and learn more about life, i sed wont u miss us goin out, i really need him, love him.. he was jus sayin snap out of it, why am i sayin i llove him afta i treated hiim like **** b4.. n now im just totally devastated, i really want to make things work with him.. he sed to me if i want to talk to his dad, his dad will take me out to dinner and talk to me.. but i dont know what this means,..
im well upset, im 20 now but i saw my whole life ahead with him.. he even sed he needs time to think and be himself, do his own **** , but if he realises in bout 2 weeks, months o wateva that he wants to get serious with me, he sed let destiny decide..
im broken.
13 Answers
- qr8fuLLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
i agree with both kate and matilda. you do deserve better. me and my ex boyfriend were together from since i was 17 up until i turned 22 too... we were engaged and had plans to get married everything. its true... once they turn a certain age they change. they turn into douche bagz. my ex was like the best thing that ever happened to me. he made me feel like i was on top of the world. i felt like he was my other half. when he left me.. well.... i've been torn ever since... flyin solo. he also started texting other girls and calling other girls and hanging out with other girls and even slept with other girls. we were just like you and ur bf. we too did fight a lot too. i mean in a way i understand that the fighting makes things confusing. but its also all about consistancy. men tend to just slack off after a while. they're useless. i mean... its the truth. one minute they love you they next minute they hate you even if you didnt do anything. i mean my ex goes soo low that he goes around telling girls that im the reason he had to relocate to another state becuz he said im stalking him which isnt true. he just wants the girls to pity him. the police got involved yes, but it wasnt becuz i was stalking him it was becuz he was violent as well. i miss him soo much as well and i wish i can change things and make the problems go away. but truthfully... when a guy makes his mind up to not give a fk.. thats final. they're heartless, selfish, etc. ... most of them just think with their penis. my bf was pretty innocent as well as myself when we started dating. lots of frustration can come from negative influences from his friends and so forth. example; them trying to set him up with another girl. they sometimes wanna be free. my ex did all of that and no matter what... im the one he runs bak to no matter what. but up to this day... i dont know what i truly mean to him becuz he isnt stable enuff to settle with me like he says he wants to. men are confusing hun.. we're better off without them. i feel ur pain i really do. i wish sooo badly that things can work out between me n my ex just like how u feel about urs.. he's just soo eff-ed up in the head he wont make his mind up. ugh! i know its hard... believe me... but.. you will get thru it. its very overwhelming and confusing and everything. what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger.
if you need anyone to talk to ... i dont mind lending an ear. i know how u feel i really do. just hit me up by emailing me.
- Anonymous5 years ago
Man did you screw up!! You had it all and went for what's behind door number one. Bzzzzzz....NOTHING!!! Do you think that maybe he has found a girl that he really loves? I realize that it is a short relationship to just jump into and get married, but you never know!!! Tattoos are kind of permanent, maybe his feelings for her are the same. Do you love the consolation prize guy? Not enough to marry? What took you six months to figure this out? Are you wanting him back because you can no longer have him? Well all these questions are irrelevant since he now is going to get married. The only thing I can say is you may try talking to him, some how and at least get your point across to him. You initiated the break up and had another guy. It's a hard fact that some of us will not go back, especially after another guy was in the picture. "You can't go back home again" is a true and sad saying......but that the way it is.... Good luck to you in your life quest.....Doc
- 5 years ago
It's going to be pretty painful after breaking up with someone you love so much. It's inevitable that you're going to feel very down, sad and depressed. Sometimes it seems you spend every waking moment thinking about how to get your ex back. Try to visit this site in order to get the best benefit out of it https://tr.im/yJuWL
Do a simple search, and you're bound to find a plethora of information, with a whole host of different opinions, sometimes seemingly off opposing viewpoints. To focus in on something that's going to help you, the first thing you think about is establishing some common courtesy.
First off, NEVER play mind games with people. This will only get people hurt and will probably end up worsening the situation. I only mention this because naturally people are ruled by their emotions rather than thinking their actions through thoroughly. Think the situation through before doing things based on your emotions. Remember, even if you do manage to get people to do what you want, this amounts to manipulation, and however good you feel now, I guarantee it won't last very long.
- 5 years ago
just tell her how it is. like im a girl. and if my ex boyfriend was to do this to me. i guess i would actually think about the whole situation and give u a straight answer. Read here https://tr.im/AKiLB
the reason she prob doesnt respond to ur aim is either her new bf is there.. or she is just playing hard to get. all of these things is what i did to my ex boyfriend. and they work lol. he was chasing after me for 5 months (but we werent dating and we hadnt dated before) and then i played cold and yeah it got his attention. i think u should just say to her that she either loves u or she doesnt.
Give her the ultimateum...basically that u have been offered a job, but you would think it would be great to spend time with someone that u care about alot and just want to end things fun and happy.
During that time make it so unbelievable she wont want it to end.
Tell her that if she loves you that she has to break up with her boyfriend, because u cant keep going like this anymore. Just say that it is unfair on the new boyfriend, and if really did like the new boyfriend that she still wouldnt be saying that to u. Or play cold with her all the time.. dont care.. dont act like u do any way... dont respond to her things... and let her wonder what u are doing the whole summer without giving her one hint..
i say def go for the first one.. cuz the second option is just a 50/50 suicidal mission because with the first she at least gets ur aggressive i dont care side with strong points but also letting her know that u care and just want to be with her..
- Anonymous1 decade ago
he cheated on you, and that sucks. but what else do you want me to tell you? He cheated on you, and he did what you wished you had the strength to do.
Instead of thinking it as some "game" where you need to be the person doing the dumping... just take it as him making it up to you for all the times he has slept with other women... and go and take a break from dating, maybe work on school, sports, or look up online how to get a more outgoing personality to find friends and stuff (overcome shyness, blah blah) and then find yourself a new guy who's better than this dude.
- Anonymous7 years ago
Discover how to get your ex back with simple text message: http://getyourexback.checkhere.info/
Many girls break up with their significant others, is because they need time to figure things out. Don't take it personally, if you want her back, you have to show her you can help her. If you love her then you'll let her go, that's it. Not everybody who you date in high school you end up staying with, the chances are extremely unlikely. So if she doesn't want to, then you need to let her go.
- 1 decade ago
People's likes change with time....when you two were 16...you had very different views...he has grown and wants to experiment...yes, you put a lot of time into the relationship and effort...but at least its not like you guys married and divorced...see the positive side of things...it's a good riddance...he sounds like he turned into a jerk and the world got the best of him...of course you are broken and with rights...damn, i was broken with a year...anyways....time is the best healer....
you deserve better...take it and mourn over it...but don't try to piece it back together...your relationship...it won't work right now...go on, focus on you and your life...
Best of luck...but yes, move on...men like these aren't worth it.
- 1 decade ago
This guy does not respect you. Plain and simple. Your insecurity is making you clingy and possessive and it's pushed him away.
Let him go. You deserve someone who will be faithful and who respects you. Someone who isn't going to text other girls on the side and lie to you. I know it hurts, but you are better off without him. You will be okay.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I feel your pain my ex girlfriend broke it off with me even after when talked about marriage and kids. I mean i thought she truly loved me but she obviously didn't cause she started dating her ex right after she broke up with me. The only reason she broke up with me is cause I lost my job.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
I can't make head or tail of this. Maybe professional counseling is best.