How should I respond to this obsessed guy bugging me to death?

Honey, listen to me. You absolutely MUST report this to the police, the guy us not only a dangerous stalker he is unhinged and this is the kind of monster you read about on the news all the time who ends up going postal and kills people. You must file a report to get him on paper and at the police dept and get a restraining order as well. He texted you ten times before you even got home, he falsely accused you of stealing from him, he is angry at you and he told you he has a gun; add all those up and he represents a clear threat to you. Save all his texts and messages and take them to the Police. You need to re-examine all he has done to you so far. You also need to get a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin DeBecker about women who make excuses and do not want to make waves against direct threats from men.

The most imp-ortant advice DeBecker gives is, under NO circumstances should you respond; that is what he wants you to do and if you give in you will be giving him power and control over you. NO CONTACT no matter what he says. Take control and call the police before something bad happens.

Do not have any contact with him at all, even to issue an ultimatum. NO CONTACT FOR ANY REASON. Very important.

This guy is stalking you and you need to take action. There is no polite way to tell him no because he may be crazy enough to interpret it as encouragement and could be very dangerous. I read about this type of situation in the August 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan. They give the following recommendations:

1. Trust Your Instincts

Don't tell yourself you're overreacting, if you think you're in danger, you probably are.

2. Keep Evidence

Keep the texts and voice mails.Documentation will help you obtain a protection order.

3. Don't Communicate

Don't talk to him AT ALL. It will only encourage him to continue contacting you.

4. Contact a Hotline

Cosmo recommends calling the National Center for Victims of Crime line at 800-FYI-CALL for consultations about legal options and a safety plan.

5. Tell Everyone You Know

Tell your parents, friends, other family, roommates, etc. so they can help watch out for you.

6. Call the Police

I know you don't want police involvement, but it will help. Bringing in law enforcement is a key step in building your case.

This has happened to me and I let a lot of people (who also knew him) know about what he was doing. He stopped trying to contact me and I've not seen him nor heard from him for months. He was very smart and manipulative and I was very scared of him as you are of this guy.

I highly recommend changing your phone number(s). Even if you block his number, what is to stop him from acquiring another number? Don't go back to social places where he might attend, too. I'd also file a police report, they may not be able to do anything but if he does decide to do something then there will be a prior record of his mental instability - you're creating a file for evidence.

Men like this are very scary but you'll be all right as long as you severe all means of communication and you avoid him. Don't do stupid things. He'll probably leave you alone.

- Pepper.

That sounds awful.

I think you should either

A) Keep the number, and wait a while (I'm talking probably months, this guy sounds crazy), he will hopefully get bored and stop trying to text you. Maybe send him ONE text, simply saying 'I got home safe that night, thanks for your concern' - and then don't text again. That way, he KNOWS you're safe, and that you don't want to speak to him. If he continues to hassle you, text him again saying 'leave me alone'. If he STILL won't leave you alone, it's time to go to the police.

B) Change your number, so he can't contact you ever again. This is probably the best option, even though you say you don't want to change. When you get a new SIM card, or whatever, with a new number on, TEXT everyone your NEW number from your OLD number. Therefore they get the text, and know it's from you, and will also have your new number aswell.

I personally think you should change your number completely - this guy sounds dangerous, and you'll feel better too without having to read his unbelievably stupid texts, and you can forget about him and move on with your life.

I hope this helps!!!

Tell him he is to immediately cease all further contact with you in any way, shape, or form and anything more you will take immediately to the police so that you may file a restraining order against him. Once you give him this message, do not respond to him at ALL. It doesn't matter what he says. Even if he threatens suicide. If he threatens to kill himself just alert the police and do absolutely nothing more. Contacting him is giving HIM the power and feeding into what HE wants. So don't do it.

Unless he really doesn't stop after your threat, you don't have to seriously get a restraining order. Sometimes the threat is enough. However, just because he has not done anything yet doesn't mean he won't. After all, after just ONE meeting he started to harass you. If someone is willing to make that sort of leap immediately, who is to say he WON'T find where you live or where you work and take any further actions?

i did lot of text text to a girl, when i was 19 (even though she told not to do). i did all that because i dont know 'how to talk with her, she is first girl in my life.

now i can understand, i might have tried to be her friend at that time (but in those days i told love etc.. in such a way she got scared).. Truly, at that time i was not able to control myself.

in ur crazy guys case, he know 3 woman and had kids.. stay away from him, may be(mostly 99%) he never going to understand woman, he had some problems. hopefully, u will get good partner soon, crazy guy will stay away than after..

Save all his messages for evidence. Tell him in no uncertain terms that if you receive one more text or call from him that you're going to the police. Go to the police. This could get dangerous.

PS Your phone may not be able to block numbers, but your phone COMPANY can.

Do not engage in any type of conversation, whether text or verbal.. This guy is seeking attention, some sort of response from you.. You will have "made his day" if you say something to him regardless of whether it is to tell him to stop calling or even express shock or anger.

With luck he will get bored with not getting a response and stop doing it. A couple of links with information of what to do if these calls get any more threatening or he continues to keep calling..

Call your phone company. They can block his number if you are being harrassed. His behavior is threatening and is stalking. I'd still consider calling the police.

Refusing to involve the police is stupid on your part..........yes I said stupid. If you know his name, turn him into welfare, with his name and address, maybe they'll keep him busy trying to get child support out of him.