What do you think of my story so far?

Hey thank you for commenting on my story. Umm, you should try to make your story into paragraphs so it is not hard to keep track of where you are. Also, try to reword your story, don't talk like you are talking to another person in real life. For example:

Yeah, that's on everyone's mind but it's in my mind the most because I'm a shape shifter. In live in the world of pixies, vampires, werewolves, and werecats, but 85% humans. The Council is like the governors of America, but they are for the world, and all 2% humans. There are nine council members, each so ancient and powerful. Every nine million years, they change and get new council members. There are three vampires, three shape shifters, three werecats, and four werewolves. If one council member dies in battle, they would combine their powers, and that would revitalize the dead council member, and bring them back to life. In three years, there is going to be a new pick of The Council. Everyone is training their hardest to get to be chosen as one of The Council, but I doubt they would be picked. Only nine out of a billion our kinds would be picked, so fat chance that you will be picked, and a good chance that one of the presidents would be chosen from the 9 states, an officer, a math geek, lawyer, doctor, and any other person that has done something that alleviated the pain of the Old War or Modern War or someone very important.

That was very hard to read and understand but anyway good job out of a 10 i give u like a 5-7

I am also an 11 year old writer! :) I hope you don't mind, but I have some critiques on your story. For instance, you've used words like "scary" and "wooden floor" repeatedly. You could try finding some synonyms to those words to use for your story. Also, your sentences are very short and quick. You may want to take some time in your story to be a little more detailed. Describe the setting, and the character's emotions. Good luck! :) By the way, your story reminds me of a book I once read in 3rd grade that had the same plot. A girl waking up from a nightmare with a family and a name that was unfamiliar to her. I can't remember how it ended, but I'm sure it was a good book. :)

Wow.

Some tips:

1)."I live with three best friends Lola, Jana, and Ashley." -present."My mom (gosh, I sound young) made sure I had one to get where ever I needed."- past. Don't jump between the tenses.

2). You could cut that part with the Council. It doesn't help making the story flow. One moment, you talk about the Council and then about your friends. Maybe a sentence that ties them together?

3).Some spelling mistakes. Make sure you take care of those before you post something public.

Unlike many vampire stories, this really isn't a version of Twilight. And it isn't about hot male vampires=].It does have potential.

Otherwise, yes it is good.

Depends on how old you are. This is VERY irrational and hard to follow. For someone in middle school, yes this is ok, but for someone trying to write a novel of their own this is unacceptable. Either way, keep working on clarity.

I read it and I thought it was very interesting except it is all really hard to read considering how it's grouped together. I really don't know if it was intended to be that way, but that was my only problem with it was it was grouped together. Other than that it was very good.

Wow, it's really good! It was really long, and I thought it would waste my time, but it didn't. It was worth reading!

This is great! Keep writing!

wow that is so amazing :) i love the story :) it is such a good plot:)

your an amazing writer :)

well, it makes no sense at all. quit writing. keep reading.

Stupid.