Another question in the Singles & Dating section omg!?

I do not know if I totally agree with any of the other comments that have been posted. Some have elements of truth, but I do not think that they adequately address the core issue. What it boils down to is that boys are not completely clueless, but at sixteen, they are clueless to what girls their age think and want. They are actually pretty clueless as to what it is they actually want themselves. I know – I've been there, done that. I think that there were a couple things that are working against you both in this scenario.

First of all, you must really figure out what your REAL question to him was. Guys are often more literal in the questions they ask. They function more in the mode of "identify the problem and solve it." Girls often operate in the mode of "discuss how the problem effects them in hopes that they can help themselves or get help." In other words, guys would rather change a flat tire than focus on how the flat tire ruined their day. A question such as, "Why don't you like me?" puts the guy on the defensive. Either he does or he doesn't, but he probably has not put much thought into why or why not. Since you have been good friends since summer, the latter is probably not the case. Guys usually do not hang out around girls that exclusively unless they do like them.

So when you ask him a question like this, it is not a "problem solving" question. There is nothing for him to "do" except either deny your assertion (which I assume you wanted him to do) or try and explain it away (which he did). He most likely explained it away because he felt attacked – or if not attacked, at least uncomfortably confronted. Guys do not like to feel painted into a corner. I suspect that since he was quick to reassure you that he found you attractive, he most likely DOES like you, but he feels cornered about some insecurity in himself. This would explain why he would hide behind the shield of "I have not known you long enough." This makes him look like a prudent guy who is thinking through his emotions rather than being nervous or shy about pursuing a relationship with you earlier on.

Even "popular" guys can get very nervous around a girl and feel insecure. To phrase a question that confronts him on his possible insecurity will make him pull back and hide behind excuses every time. What makes the problem worse is that you wanted him to decode the question you asked and answer it back in the way you wanted to hear. Because he is a clueless boy with regards to the female mindset, he did not fully understand that he was supposed to do this. When you heard his answer, you only assumed that his answer was also coded and that he must have been trying to convey a different message altogether. This is where your confusion lies. He tried to answer in a way that he thought would defend his own self-image, make the most sense, and not hurt you. If he really knew that it would cause you this much soul-searching and questioning, he would have sought a different way to answer you.

Though I do not think that you should shun him or play "hard-to-get", like others have suggested, I do not think that you should become clingy or possessive. Most guys resist the idea of a girlfriend because they do not wish to feel tied down. He must have liked the low-key, no pressure atmosphere that you created during the summer. With your question, he might fear that the writing is on the wall as far as an easy-going relationship goes and that if he gets serious, he might find himself with a "ball and chain." Any sixteen-year-old boy would rather have a friend than a mate. He is still years from even being an adult – he instinctively knows that he is not ready for an adult role at the moment.

I know that you are probably not the possessive type. He could be nervous, though, so assure him by taking things slow that you still love him as a friend. You do not NEED to make him jealous by seeking out other guys. You already have his friendship; the summer proved this. If anything, going after other guys will make him feel betrayed in your friendship. If you are ready to take things more seriously, be willing to let him ease into the idea at his own pace. He has not pursued the other girls because either he has someone else in mind (you, perhaps), or he just does not want that responsibility yet. If the latter is true, he will not be happy in a relationship if he feels forced into it.

If you want clear answers, ask clear questions. No games. Don't make those questions uncomfortable for him to answer. Keep in mind that he must have really valued having you as a friend first with all of the time he spent building that relationship. Do not make him feel that he would lose that if he decided to get into a serious relationship. A serious relationship should just be a deepened form of the friendship you already have, not something completely different. Questions that will get you closer to where you wa

Its both the "grownup" variation of "Singles & Dating", as you stated, or it sort of feels to be all approximately complaining approximately huge different (realize the phrase "partner" wasn't used) or it approximately dishonest. Granted this segment is supposed for divorce, as a way to hardly ever include well matters to mention, however what approximately the wedding part? Where is the entire well matters approximately marriage on this segment? No one comes on right here speaking approximately an e-mail they obtained from their deployed partner, simply announcing "I love you." Or what approximately the random roses that confirmed up on the door, no longer for any excursion, anniversary, birthday, and so forth, however simply due to the fact that? Why do not folks speak approximately a holiday they took to the seaside on their anniversary? Or the nights they keep up overdue simply looking films and consuming popcorn? This segment, this entire website online fairly, simply continually appears to be approximately the dangerous matters in lifestyles. What occurred to celebrating the well?

well hes a boy hes not going to sedal down he wants all these girls all over him,, until he notices you don't mind other girls he will miss you,, so just flirt with him and other boys and be so nice and flirty treat others like you treat him and then he will get jealous and would want to be the only one you flirt with,, but don't make it obvious. and im a 17 year old girl just to let you know im around Alto of boys that age and i talk to them and they start liking the girl when they cant have them.. lol.

hope it helps good luck.

he's flirty, but he's not that into you. If he was, it wouldn't be complicated. If he wanted you, he'd be with you. He said that because girls are suckers for lines like that. He wants you to like him so he can feel flattered and maybe hang out with you, maybe get some, but he isn't jumping on becoming your BF because he really does not want to.

Sorry to be blunt, but that's the truth. Stop hanging out with him and maybe he'll want you more b/c he'll see his plan isn't working. But really, don't go for someone unless he worships the ground you walk on. You're worth that.

haha, i love the question... caught my eye that one ;D

i would say (but then again i have hardly any dating experience despite being in grade 11 >:| so you probably shouldn't listen to any of my advice) that you should just keep talking to him until he would say that he knows you well enough... by the sounds of things he doesnt like those other girls, so you're in for a chance my friend.

sorry if this didn't help, but I wanted 2 points :)