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What are you left thinking when your brother gives $ gifts to all the kids in the family except your child?
I am very hurt by this. He has plenty of money, is in his early 40's, lives alone in his own condo, no kids, no pets, great paying job. He told me he would send it; he never did. We had an argument a few months back, but I thought we'd gotten past it. If he takes that out on her, I will never forgive him. He has 5 nephews and 2 nieces, my daughter being the youngest of the lot at age 7. She could really use the money, I could take her to a movie, he knows we are strapped for cash.
Talking Christmas gifts here.... by the way.
hi folks, no he didn't send it. I have gotten him gifts his entire life, but these days I cannot afford to buy for adults, and he knows that. It does not excuse the fact that he didn't get my daughter anything, so I guess we're done. And yes, I do expect the gift... for his niece, not for me! to snub her and single her out... uh uh.
Mona that was a great answer, very mature, thank you.
9 Answers
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think a simple phone call from your daughter to him, letting him know her gift never arrived and maybe it got lost. If he mentions he hasnt sent it, then let him know.."no worries, I was just making sure it didnt get lost". Then you know the intention was never there. I would then clear the air with him, instead of harboring all these feelings. Let him know it was very hurtful, and unfair that the other kids got something and your daughter was left out, because she's old enough to know this. Then tell him, its not that you expect something, but when you do that to a child they feel maybe they did something wrong, and no child should feel this way. Explain that you hope this has nothing to do with your past issues, and you also hope he still considers your daughter his niece and does things equally.
If this doesnt resolve anything, then you know where you stand. Next year, just come around and dont bring anything up, if your daughter notices, you should just explain that not everyone should expect something, but dont tell her anything negative about her uncle, it doesnt help. I know it hurts when they exclude our children, and if that were purposely the case, then he has a lot of growing up to do, for now just make the call to get it off your chest, but dont argue dont try to get him to agree to your feelings.. just say ok thank you and let time heal your hurt!
- 1 decade ago
I'm guessing when he said he would send it, that you meant he would send it by mail and not give it in person. chances are it was lost in the mail (or even stolen on delivery. happened to my step-mom. bad times :/ ), discuss it with him under the assumption that he did send it and that it just didn't make it to you. if he said he did and apologizes or offers to give it again and look into the lost cash then he had no intention of being harsh to you like that. if he mentions that he had every intention to but something got in the way or he forgot, then it was pretty careless and you have a right to be upset but it wasn't on purpose so you should just forgive him and hug him :P. if he directly mentions purposely not sending it...well, its pretty obvious that he's being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk :/ .
Try and look at it positively and everything will work out fine ^^.
- ?Lv 45 years ago
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- Anonymous1 decade ago
* He's either being petty (has unresolved issues with you and / or your daughter)
Or
* It's an honest mistake
Personally, I'd just let it go. Besides, if it was an honest mistake, it'll only be embarrassing for both of you. If he's trying to make a 'statement', it's immature and passive / aggressive. Not to mention taking it out on the wrong person (your daughter). Making an issue out of it only confirms to him that it has gotten to you (which is giving his actions validation), and it also puts you in a bad place--he could accuse you of being a 'brat' in demanding a gift. Let this one go, but if he continues to 'make statements', I say call him on his sh*t.
- RickLv 41 decade ago
If you gave him a gift that's good.
If your daughter gave him a gift that's great.
Don't forget his birthday.
But in the meantime assume he somehow forgot when sending the others. It could have dropped. You don't know.
A simple Uncle my Christmas gift didn't arrive would be in order.
- Precious GemLv 71 decade ago
Call him up and let him know that the Christmas gift he had sent to your child never
arrived. If he gives you some lame excuse then just cut him out of your life. You
shouldn't have to take his rudeness.
- 1 decade ago
Maybe he it just got lost in the mail? That tends to happen a lot when you send it through the mail. Or maybe he think you would just keep the money instead of giving it to her.
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Source(s): My brain :) - Anonymous1 decade ago
Maybe BC you seem to EXCPECT the gift..
He can give gifts to whoever he wants...if he doesn't feel he is close with you and your daughter then he shouldn't have to buy for you guys....Did you get him anything?!?!