'AMA' panic with a supportive doc?

Relax. You're looking for a problem that doesn't exist yet. Nothing your doctor has done up until now has indicated he would treat you like a "freak of nature". Nothing anyone has said in their answers has indicated they think you're a freak of nature. I was 31 when my first was born and 35 when my second was born and my Dr. treated me essentially the same. He recommended extra tests, I did some, turned down others, and that was just fine. This could turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you think he'll suddenly turn into Dr. Hyde, he might just do that. Dr.'s, nurses and midwifes want to treat with patients who want to be treated by them. If you enter with a chip on your shoulder they are just like other people, they'll react. Realistically, the doctor will simply ask you to sign waivers on the tests he recommends. He'll probably ask the same of your husband. As you know, he has a professional obligation to treat and recommend treatments as his professional peers would, otherwise if something unexpected were to happen, he would be guilty of malpractice. He is only going to feel the professional obligation to offer them to you. Then it'll be your choice what to do. He will most likely be just fine with whatever you decide. If you're looking for a doctor, nurse or midwife who won't even offer you additional tests, I'm afraid you most likely won't find one anywhere. They aren't going to go against common practice, because it would place them in jeopardy. Let *your* panic over turning 40 go - offering you a test and thinking you're a "freak of nature" aren't the same thing!

Enjoy your pregnancy, don't look for the professionals to be against you. You'll turn them.

I think it is great that you have educated yourself about pregnancy and birth and that you are a strong supporter in natural labor, but honestly, 40 does increase your risks on a variety of health problems for you and your son. You can bring the books out all you want but statistics show the older a woman gets the more high risk she is for pregnancy related problems. A 40-year-old mother has approximately a 6% to 8% risk of giving birth to a child with a birth defect. Since the likelihood of most types of birth defects increases with maternal age, bearing a child with some form of chromosomal abnormality is 1 in 68 ). At age 40, the risk of having a child with Down

Syndrome is around 1 in 100 (and some statistics are as low as 1 in 75). This isn't just for first time mothers, this is in reguards to everyone.

With all that being said, a doctor that YOU are paying for should respect YOUR wishes, but never assume that you know better than a man or woman that went to medical school for 8 years to study this particular area of medicine just because you've done online and book research.

The main thing is, if you don't want tests to be done, you shouldn't feel pressured. I'm 23 and I refuse to have any addition testing that isn't necessary because it isn't going to change my mind about my pregnancy. If they detect downsyndrom from a ultrasound, I'm not going to do anything about it, I'm going to wait it out and see. If they tell me they want to do further testing, I'll tell them to stick it. You need to stick to what you believe, but be aware that there are risks.

While I commend you for your knowledge and I don't think 40 is too old, I still think you need to remember that there is a reason most professionals do things certain ways...because they are tried and trusted and in the best interest of you and baby. I'd stop thinking that you know everything and they know nothing- afterall, who is the doctor here?

I think you might want to consider the midwifery route...