Magick users, are there any less gross substitutions for, hm, *bodily fluids* in spells that require it?

No spell has any absolutely "requirement" - a spell works because of the effort and energy YOU put into it, not because of your tools or props. Just alter it with an herb or oil that has a similar correspondence if you must.

Blood of the Old God, Yogg-Saron, should be a suitable substitute, probably. After all, it was used to forge Shadowmourne.

Petroleum jelly

God made his position quite clear. He said: "You must not practice magic." (Leviticus 19:26) We also read: "There should not be found in you . . . a practicer of magic or anyone who looks for omens or a sorcerer, or one who binds others with a spell or anyone who consults a spirit medium."—Deuteronomy 18:10, 11.

http://www.watchtower.org/e/20000401/article_02.ht...

I... I don't know how to respond to this.

Magic isn't real