I need a critique...?

>The water-jug arced through the air,

>almost in slow-motion.

Okay, jugs are usually used to carry water, and since I don't know what time-period you're writing in, it's difficult to picture what it looks like. Also, I'm assuming the verb-form you used, "arced" means that it made an arc or arch as it flew, but it doesn't read very well. How about writing it like this:

"The jug sailed through the air in slow motion, water cascading from its mouth and making its own downpour as it fell."

>She traced it as it slowly neared the cold,

>gravel path, her heart beating faster

>every moment. Finally, it hit the bottom,

<not making as much noise as she

>would have expected.

This is very awkward. Your character is obviously very attached to the jug, but you should be describing her emotional trauma, not the falling of the jug. How about this instead?

"When the jug smashed on the gravel path, the noise was nothing compared to the breaking of her heart."

See the difference? The reader knows that the heroine is more broken up than the jug.

"There was no relief; because the

>crystal jug was no more, instead,

>glittering specks of rainbow-colored

>light dotted the garden path.

Again, you're putting too much emphasis on the jug instead of on your character. Try using the broken jug as a metaphor or a counterpoint for your character. The person must be the focus, not the inanimate object.

Your paragraph should be something like this:

"Glittering fragments cast rainbows everywhere, but the prismatic light did nothing to brighten her heavy heart."

Remember, focus on the person, not the object.

great!it gave me the sense of mysterious

Decent ..... ha ha. Naw..... seriously I like your style .. suspension was there .... keep at it