Do you think these character personality analyses for Romeo and Juliet make sense/work?

I helped you edit a few parts. Read the comments I made in the brackets. Some parts didn't make sense and my comments may not be accurate. Refer back to the book for any further editing.

Romeo - As the only child of the Montague's, Romeo is often quiet and mourning about his love for Rosaline in the beginning of the novel. After meeting Juliet, he becomes more vibrant and passionate. He is willing to do anything, including die, in order to be with his loved one, Juliet. After meeting her, Romeo becomes impulsive, wanting to be married to Juliet right away and not thinking about the consequences of their marriage. (SIDE NOTE: you're talking a lot about his personality from beggining to end and your paragraph sounds a little choppy without flows and transitions)

Juliet - She is an innocent thirteen-year-old girl, the only daughter of the Capulet's. Juliet discovers her love for Romeo after encountering him at a family party and has to face the lost of her love when he is exiled. She becomes mature and independent as the play develops (How so? In my opinion, by suggesting a marriage with him, she still shows immaturity because like Romeo, didn't think about the consequences!). She controls her temper and is strong-willed, leaving her parents and Nurse to do what she believes is right (This sentence doesn't really make sense). She is willing to die for her loved one, Romeo.

Tybalt - Juliet's cousin, has a temper (has a temper sounds slightly informal) and hates all Montagues. He later on demands revenge on Romeo at the Capulet ball and in a later scene kills Mercutio. He is killed by Romeo.

Mercutio: Being Romeo's best friend, he's a bit eccentric and enjoys having a good time. Killed by Tybalt in a duel, he is quite a courageous character who remains faithful to Romeo (but didn't Mercutio swear a curse on the Montagues and Capulet's during the duel?).

Hope this helps!

He was once impulsive, flakey and knew what he was once after if you realize what I imply. Also, it was once a play, so only a few humans could wish to sit down round at the same time Romeo laments his shortcomings, as this is not the factor of the play. Luckily, his impulses are well for some thing this time. But it will support to notice that he was once on the Capulet celebration to disregard Rosalind, so he was once additionally at the rebound.