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How to calm my nerves around my boyfriends traditional asain mother?

My boyfriend and I (23/21) have been dating for over a year now. I'm white and he is asian and his mom is very traditional. She never liked the fact that he doesn't like asain women. My family loves him and I feel bad he can't say the same about his. He's not close with his mom, they have unsettled issues, but he wants me to meet her and form a relationship.

I did meet her once but it was a 5 min car ride and I only said hi and the rest of the time her and my boyfriend spoke to each other in chinese. What do I do so I'm not so nervous to see her again?

2 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I have been in a similar situation, its no easy ride.

    What did you ask the mom about herself? You've got to kill her with kindness. Have good conversations with her. Let her do a lot of the talking. Anything to keep her talking.

    I think learning the language is kind of a big undertaking. You can give it a try but don't forget the little things. Just ignore your nerves and ignore it if she ignores you for a while. you might have to start talking to her first.

    Unfortunately my relationship with an asian guy ended two years ago. His mom was really racist. Look if she is being racist to you and won't meet you halfway if you're nice don't take that crap. If she is reasonable go all out.

  • 1 decade ago

    Learning their language would show your dedication to your relationship to her son and it would be really sweet. Also, read about their culture. Basically you guys differences come down to rase, so take an interest in theirs and maybe she will meet u in the middle.

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