Urgent. Why does my car shut off when put in reverse or drive? 92 oldsmobile cutlass ciera.?

I drive a 92 oldsmobile cutlass ciera s. The car runs fine for about 10 to 15 minutes then when it slows to an idling speed, or stopping anytime it will shake a little and turn off. You can crank it up and it will run fine in park or nuetral but as soon as you try to put it in gear it shuts off. Also when you switch from nuetral to drive and gas it so you arent broke down in the intersection it bogs down badly, but acts right when it gets into 45+ speed range. Basically the car drives fine until something is heated up after 10-15 minutes of driving and then it doesnt want to do ****. You can let it sit and cool down and do the same routine all over.

Things i have done: new fuel pump, fuel filter, swapped out mass air flow (no result) so cleaned old one and put it back on, new water pump, new harmonic balancer, new plugs and wires. I have gotten the car where it would shut off when put in gear, and went through all the plugs i could see one by one and tried the car again, same result no matter what i did.

Also a guy told me there is a torque lock or something like that i cant remember the name, anyway he told me to unplug it and that should be the problem, it is located under the hood on the bottom right side, it seems to have my gearing rod connected to it, thing that changes the gear. theres a solid silver rod connected to the thing and a big plug on the side. Anyway he said the car should run when i unplug it and that maybe that was the problem, but the car will not start at all when it is unplugged.

Any help is appreciated, i need to get this damn thing fixed because it is the only ride that me and my 1 year old have to get around!