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Noah Thall asked in Arts & HumanitiesPoetry · 1 decade ago

A poem. Did I achieve my goal?

The goal is to write a poem in the classic form of a sonnet that is also a short story with characters, plot etc. Here is my attempt. What do you think? Care to give it a try and post it as a reply? Just to review, 14 lines of ten syllables. One quatrain introduces the subject. Second quatrain expands. Third quatrain introduces a new take or twist in the story. Final couplet brings a conclusion. In my poem, I chose not to rhyme. I also varied from the tradition of iambs somewhat.

"She Begins Again"

The spider, living in her solitude,

sits waiting at the corner of her web;

The new one that she worked on all day long,

With never a pause in her endeavor.

Now comes the new dawn of a bright new morning.

She waits with the patience instinct demands.

Dew drips from new spun strands of heavenly silk.

She waits for that all-telling vibration.

He, not knowing her, unaware of her,

He, not caring to know her or her kind,

He, who lives in another world only

Different in scale but still part of hers,

Opens the garage door, destroying all.

As the sun warms her, she begins again.

6 Answers

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  • doe
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I wish I could find the creativity it took to complete this wonderful poem! Consider my suggestions but I am not, advanced enough to be a critic. L-5 I would remove one of the "new" -Now comes the dawn-

    L-6 I would remove "the." And L-12 Just think about- Different in scale, but still part of a plan. I truly love your poem.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    My dear Doctor! I respect your effort to isolate spiders' behavior. It is so carefully constructed that if we disassemble it (the poem) and re-assemble it with the words in another order, we 'll have the same meaning! (= a spider's web) You are a philosopher sir, do not submit your thinking to sirens!

  • 1 decade ago

    I like it, really good imagery. The rhythm could do with some work, but the description is beautiful.

  • 1 decade ago

    Emmmmm yes very interesting

  • spider queen at your service,

    we are not composing at present, however we smiled when we saw a tribute to our assets.. we do weave beautiful homes, don't we? how do we do it? tirelessly and with such focus... it is our responsibility to the environment.....

    good morning, Sir

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    That was simply excellent.

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