Am I the world's worst mother?

I sure do feel like it. A mama kitty and her kitten had taken up residence on our carport but since we already have five cats (three of them previously rescued from our extremely popular carport) in the house, we just couldn't take in another one. This was an absolutely gorgeous long haired baby we named "Furby." We couldn't afford to bring him into the house, but we were feeding them some kitten food and socializing him by bringing him into the house (much to his mother's dislike) for a few hours a day to play with our kitties. It killed me not to be able to make him a house cat, but I still considered him one of my babies and my husband really liked him too. He was fearless and loved attacking the only one of our big cats that'd give him the time of day. Every morning my husband made sure he was safely out of the way before he took off in the morning and Furby always ran & hid when his car started up.

This morning I had a doctor's appointment, so I put out their food to keep him out of MY way. Furby (who was perfectly happy on the carport and never got anywhere near the road) was nowhere to be seen. After spending several minutes looking for him, I was running late and had to leave. As I pulled out of the driveway I saw Furby dead in the road.

I was heartbroken but since I was already late (and the fact that our little subdivision is fairly secluded), I couldn't take the time to pick him up and figured he'd still be there when I got back. I was wrong. His little body was gone and now I'm beating myself up for not at least moving him. Unless I can track down who picked him up, we can't even bury the little guy.

My husband said that he never did see Furby but figured he was hiding under my car as usual. It appears that he had gotten up inside his car somehow (something else he'd never done before). He jumped out and my husband accidently ran over him.

The only consolation is that Furby jumped out in front of the house and we don't have to beat ourselves up worrying about what happened to him. I am absolutely distraught and my husband feels horrible.