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I don't know if I should stay with him or not..please read and help?

I went back to my hometown about a month ago and my brother's best friend and i started going out together a lot. we soon realized that we really liked each other...but i had to leave in a few days. long story short, we're still talking and we've decided to give the long distance relationship a try.

Problem is that I am not so sure anymore. After thinking about our future together i realized that we weren't meant for each other. He lives in a different country, studies something completely different to what i will study and has different plans for his future than the ones i have and somehow I can't make a 'route' to make them meet at some point. I want to study Art here in the U.S and he is planning on getting a masters (mathematics and chemistry) and then going to Japan or Germany to study some more. Me: NO. We are of different religions and different (i know it sound bad) economical classes :S.... Another thing is that I'm not physically attracted to him. Mentally/emotionally he is an awesome guy.

I have no idea what to do. i've thought about maybe giving it a try and see how it goes and sometimes it seems like a good plan but i feel that I'm just going to play with him if i do that, like giving him hope that someday it'll be more than that. and I don't want that. Should I tell him that i don't want to do this anymore (and how do i tell him without hurting him) or should I give it a try????

Update:

BTW the reason i say i should give it a try is because i was with him Only 2 days then i had to come home so maybe it wasn't enough time to really appreciate him and learb more about him...

1 Answer

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  • Babs
    Lv 5
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I can speak from experience and say that I don't think that trying it out is a good idea. People have to have things in common, there has to be an attraction there - physically or emotionally- and your plans for the future have to be similar. They can't be exact opposites. Someone who wants children can't make it work with someone who is dead set against having any. One of them is going to be unhappy. It's the same with any other future plans...one is going to be unhappy with the outcome of the future. Having different religions is another problem. What if it did work out and you had kids and he wanted them to be raised his religion but you wanted them to be raised by yours, it will only be a constant battle. It seems like you like him but it will only work out if you two are friends...you just aren't compatible for anything more.

    As to how to tell him this without hurting his feelings, if he wants this I don't think that there is anyway not to hurt his feelings even if you are the nicest person when you say it. It will still hurt him. But it has to be done. Tell him that you just think that there is someone out there that is more suitable for him and that will love him the way he should be loved and that will have the same wants and dreams. And that you are sorry but you just aren't the one that can do that.

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