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Have you ever had a separation during your marriage?

Have you ever had a separation during your marriage, or known someone who did? If so, was it helpful, harmful, or did it have no effect? How long did it last? And, are separated people allowed to have physical relationships with other people during a separation?

12 Answers

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  • ?
    Lv 6
    10 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    I left a note on the counter, packed some stuff for me and the baby and called my brother to come pick me up. The note was about all the things he left undone around the house, mostly things that were hazardous to me and the baby. He was never at home, never even tried to do anything we needed done, I had to call my dad to bring us stuff. I was only gone for about 4 days because he came to see us and the baby got upset so I packed up and went home. I guess it woke him up a bit because he thought I would just sit there like an idiot while he did whatever he wanted but he realised that he could lose us if he kept on taking us for granted. He's more a part of the family now. And separation isn't divorce. If you are separated you are still married and any hooking up is still cheating. If you are separated your marriage is strained already and doesn't need the added strain of cheating. I personally think that if you have problems in your marriage you should seek counselling and try to stick even closer together. Reconnect with each other, try to recapture the first months of the relationship. That's what really helps. Peace.

  • Anonymous
    4 years ago

    1

    Source(s): Save Your Marriage http://enle.info/SaveYourMarriage
  • 10 years ago

    If someone has a separation during their marriage, they are not allowed having sex with others, otherwise it is called cheating. Mind you, some people separate for ever because they can't afford to divorce, but have agreed with each other that their marriage had ended, so that's a different story. I had been separated from my husband before, we continued seeing each other and be faithful to each other - or so I thought - then I realized he was cheating, then I divorced him. That was the end of that.

    I have known some people who have separated for months, even years, then they decided to try again to get back together, and their relationship ended up stronger and more loving than in phase one.

    I hope my answer has helped.

  • 10 years ago

    Poopypus, I meant to give you a thumbs up, sorry about that.......anyways, on a serious note, my ex and I separated before we divorced, it was approximately 5 months and then I filed. We were married going on 18 years when I filed, had been through three different bouts of marriage counseling and the last time around my counselor told me I would be better off on my own. As far as physical stuff, that would only complicate things, if you're thinking you want to have a relationship with someone else your question is answered. If you're considering a separation go to counseling to sort things out. Good luck.

  • 5 years ago

    Conflict or anger itself does not have to cause an irreparable rift between partners. With good communication skills and a shared commitment to a marriage, even these are surmountable. How to save your marriage https://tr.im/savemarriage

    However, at that point where one partner is at the brink of abandoning the relationship, how can the remaining partner save their marriage? If you are at the point where your spouse has asked for a divorce, what can you do?

    You must realize first that, you do have a choice. Often, when confronted by a crisis, we find ourselves backed into a corner thinking we have no choice in the matter. How can we change the situation when it involves another person's feelings or decisions? While we cannot, must not and in no way manipulate, blackmail or threaten our partner into changing their mind, we can actually control how we react to the situation. If anything, you must realize that you still have control over yourself. You have the opportunity to look inward and take responsibility for your own feelings and actions and even have the chance to take personal inventory of what your partner is trying to tell you. Are there points in your marriage that must be changed? If so, respond appropriately and proactively.

  • 10 years ago

    I was separated for a couple of months back in 2002. After the separation we got along very well for several years. The three years immediately after were the best in our relationship. So it did seem to help for a while.

    During the separation we laid the ground rules of no sex. But dating and mild physical acts like kissing were allowed. But neither of us have ever been all that jealous of people, so it did not bother us after we got back together what each other did when we were separated.

  • 10 years ago

    I have never known a separation to have a positive effect on a marriage. Sleeping with someone else during the separation only adds more resentment to the fire.

  • Cheryl
    Lv 4
    5 years ago

    It sounds like you have taken the first step toward healing your relationship (and yourself) by owning your end of the responsibility and going to counseling yourself. Of course, it takes two to make a relationship work, and it will be necesary for him to be willing to do the work to save the relationship as well. If both are willing to do the counselling, it can be helpful no matter what the eventual outcome is. You may be able to grow as a couple and continue in a happier, healthier relationship, or you may come to terms with your ultimate incompatibility and end the relationship in a healthy way. I would say go with the counselling. and Good Luck with it.

  • Anonymous
    10 years ago

    no, and I don't think it's a good idea.

    Sleeping with someone else during separation- still cheating. You are not divorced yet.

  • 10 years ago

    I have a friend who was seperated from her husband for 3 years... They did both have physical relationships but when they got back together, that wasn't discussed. They are still together 5 years later. I don't know if it was the healthiest way to do things but it worked for them.

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