Is my bike saddle too wide or not wide enough?

http://www.serfas.com/product_details.asp?ID=57

See above link. Your current saddle is probably too wide & too soft if it hurts in that "sensitive area". That means your sit bones are NOT being supported. What is getting all the pressure or support is areas that need no support.

Most comfortable saddle I own (if you want to go big bucks) is a Brooks B-17 leather saddle with NO padding whatsoever.

Old Hippie recommendation is a good one. A bike shop will have a foam pad where you sit for a couple of minutes leaving a print of your seating area on the foam, from there they can take measurements to match you with the right width.

Most likely your saddle is too low and you are resting way too much weight on the saddle instead of putting it on the pedals. This causes pain and is not efficient. Your butt should just "lightly" rest on the saddle.

It sounds like it is too wide. You might be able to alleviate it by raising the saddle to the correct height

and putting a bit of tip down. Also, if you aren't wearing riding shorts, it will never be comfortable.

They make saddles that are designed for women. You should look into that.