How do I help myself when I'm so depressed I physically can't do what I know I need to do.?

You know in your heart that until you face your problems including the addiction to alcohol things will never get better for you. Having said that, of course you're lacking motivation, and because of that I feel that if you could persuade your wife not to divorce you, allowing her still to move out, that this may help you. Being separated from each other, gives you the motivation into trying to dry out.

Ask her on the grounds of that life was once good between you both, to let you prove herself to you, for her to go her separate way and for you to beat the addiction with the right help, thus allowing her to see you for the sober loving man you used to be, before she cuts all ties and divorces you.

Giving up your addiction will only work though if you want it for yourself, addictions are your soul ownership, and even by just what I see through your words, your seeing your problem through just your own eyes, no mention of the times you have let down your wife, given all those broken promises, all the damage a drunken man does to his wife and family, your all about you still, and until you can start even just to imagine how she feels what she has gone through, then if she senses its still all about you, she will never come back no matter if you never touched another drop your whole life.

You have damaged yourself badly, but equally so your wife, denying her years perhaps when she could have been a happy fulfilled woman. Take ownership of what you have done, its been your doing not hers. Then maybe if you can prove yourself, she may just give you that last one chance.

Billie UK