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What should I do about this girl?
Okay, so there's this girl. She's my best friend, to put it simply, and I am fine with being her friend. She's a nice girl.
But here's the thing - she's had a crush on me for a while. Hasn't said it directly, but it's painfully obvious. She calls me cute and clings onto me with no restraint, even in front of my parents and other friends. That really bothers me because I do not like her like that at all. I don't even like girls past a little physical attraction. If I tell her that, though, it seems to me that the friendship would be ruined since she makes it such a big deal.
So what should I do in this situation?
6 Answers
- Torgo χLv 49 years agoFavorite Answer
I've been on both sides of that.
You gotta say something, but it's gotta at least start really smooth.
I'd try something like saying this, nice and friendly:
"Ya know, you're a HUGE flirt! Jeez, everybody must tell you that all the time. But... I hope you're gonna go find someone you can do something more than flirt with!" (Optionallly: add "I haven't seen you with anybody all year!")
Keywords: "GO FIND". As in: "you haven't found it, and *aren't gonna* find it here!", and you're giving her friendly encouragement to look elsewhere or at least stop thinking you've got it here!
And your tone of voice means you're friendly and it's a GOOD trait of hers that she's so FRIENDLY, as in friend-ly, just FRIENDS.
What you say carries these assumptions: she's /just/ being fun with you, and you perceive her as JUST flirting with you, and that she doesn't mean anything by it, because she's probably flirty with everyone!
Those are all *fake* assumptions, but having those assumptions in what you're saying expresses that *you think she's making those assumptions too* -- and that gives her an "out" from the situation, verbally and emotionally, so she can just GO FIND.
You *actually are* presenting the idea that This Ain't Gonna Happen, but you're presenting it as something you *already both know*, and unless she says otherwise, she's agreeing with those assumptions, and agreeing TO those assumptions, and then the assumptions aren't fake, they're an agreement.
You might have to repeat this once or twice so the assumptions can sink in.
And-- cross this bridge *IF* you come to it-- You might have go to
like "You're acting AS IF you have a crush on me!",
then "You're acting like you have a crush on me.",
then "I can tell that you have a crush on me from how you're acting. AMIRITE?"
plus "That's bad for you, because it's impossible for me to be interested in you, you're just frustrating yourself and keeping yourself from meeting someone you'll actually be able to have a fun time dating. I'm your FRIEND so I don't want to see you frustrated, and I want to see you having a fun time dating someone!", etc.
Or just lose your mind and wham your fist on the table and yell "Do not defy my wishes that you should go be affectionate with anyone else in the world as long as they are not me! I command this! [wham wham wham] Guards, seize her! Heywait.... Where are my guards, the ones for seizing? GO FIND!"
But I say always keep it mellow instead.
Source(s): Been on BOTH SIDES there! And being the MASTER of FAKE ASSUMPTIONS! - No MoreLv 79 years ago
Have a few drinks, share a bottle of wine, and give yourself to her for one night... only then will you know the true answer to this odd physical attraction that you both feel... "I don't even like girls past a little physical attraction". Most women would not even admit to that level of same-sex curiosity.....
Let it go... You know you wonder about how smooth her skin is... and just what it might take to turn those butterflies into goosebumps.
- AnonymousLv 79 years ago
You do have to confront her about it (without raising your voice. Be in a calm manner)
Remind her that you are straight and would respect if she wouldn't touch you so much. Tell her that she needs to move on as she's wasting time.
- Anonymous9 years ago
Just tell her what you said, be calm and mature and that will probably produce the best possible outcome that involves her not being so clingy.