Just wondering if someone cares enough to save me?

First , your brother is abusive and not all brothers are abusive. Your parents are too critical, like you said.

You have accepted those messages as fact about you, on some level, even though another part of you knows that is not true about who you are.

The part of you that knows their painful words are not who you are, is the healthy correct part of yourself.

When people grow up in environments like this, getting a good perspective about who the players are, what their intent is, what they have going on within themselves, how they were raised, and what they believe is all important in terms of seeing the whole picture.

They are imperfect human beings. it sounds like they are doing their best given where they are in their own life process of growing and learning.

This has hurt you, and it is probably what happened to them growing up and made them the way they are.

You can be different and once you realize there is something else, like you have realized, then you can bring it out and make it happen in your life.

If you can at all manage to get a good female therapist like this one clarissapinkolaestes.com also a writer, I think you would be able to grow through this struggle you are with so that you come out quicker and stronger . Or you could check out these and this method that would help you resolve your insecurities and pain quickly, unlike other types of therapy. eftmasters.com or the free self help version eftuniverse.com click on 'get started free'

You are at a good age to begin to realize that the way you were raised, your family is not perfect, and that they were not right about some things. You dont' have to accept other peoples views of you.

You become the Subject of your own life, not the object of someone elses.

The problems you will have , if you do not take the time to build up your confidence and remove the pain, is that you will be looking to unscrupulous men and people to meet the love needs you have that are not met. That will cause you many problems unless you realize first that many males , do not think in terms of love like you do. Many are focused on sex and themselves for a long time, and see 'love' differently than females.

You are not likely to find a male who thinks about love in the same way. If you do,then you are going to have to look in the right places that make that more possible. Men with values, men who live by their values and also let you be who you are. So, you need to feel good about yourself .

I think if yuo find a good female therapist, remove your pain and negative 'messages', take some assertiveness classes, bring successful mentors into your life around your interests and potenital career , then you are more likely to find a guy that has interests in common, and reliable people to talk to.

I didn't look up your picture, but if you are attractive/beautiful, then guys will come out of the woodwork to sleep with you and they may say anything to you to get you to do that. You need an experienced wise female tohelp guide you through all this and help you heal and deal with your personal power.

Blessings in the new year.

EDIT: WE all , ultimately 'save ' ourselves by making good decisions, standing up for ourselves and what we feel and believe and create our best lives. If we are fortunate, we find loving people that will help us along the way and become real friends.

Depression can be understood in terms of it being the emotional response to thinking unpleasant thoughts. People who are depressed think of things that make them unhappy. Sometimes this is entirely reasonable for example in the case of bereavement, life struggles or the breakdown of an important relationship. At other times the thoughts that drive low mood are not helpful or accurate.

It is important to know which thoughts cause the unhappiness and if they are an accurate reflection of the situation. How then can we find out how accurate our thoughts are? A good start is to think in specific terms about the evidence that supports a thought or belief. If there is no evidence, what else could to be true? If there is no evidence to support a thought that prompts sadness it is possible that there are thinking errors in thinking habits. In depression, black and white thinking, emotional reasoning, predicting, catastrophising and mind reading are common. Low self-esteem and poor self-confidence can also influence mood.

Another consideration is state dependant memory, which is the mind's tendency to recall things from a similar state. Therefore, when we're happy we are more likely to think of happy things and when we're sad we're more likely to remember occasions when we were sad.

It is important to make the real, practical, changes where possible. When change is not possible, do not attribute the problem to a personality flaw. Be objective and connect cause and effect without inappropriate blame. Remember that, while depressed, there is a tendency to be self-critical. Though it is very difficult to stop unpleasant and unhelpful thoughts altogether, it is possible to correct them with more helpful ones. When people become depressed they may stop doing the things that make us all happy and well.

Even at times when motivation is poor it is important to eat well ,sleep well, exercise and maintain positive friendships.

I'm 19, I've never kissed a girl though I won't give up my search any longer. You aren't alone, I live three lives. One is how I appear to my friends and others, the next is how I appear to my family and the third is how I appear to myself.

You pray to God every night and claim He has given up on you. I say that is not true, God works in mysterious ways. He does things sometimes that require you to look back and say hey, God you were helping me here. But never forget, God is always there for you, will never abandon you and shall love you forever.

You seem to be lonely, maybe that's your low confidence. Ive been getting into troubles like that recently, keeping me from my fullest potential. But I've been getting around it and in fact fighting it. I found a motivation and I trust in God. It helped me get out before and it will help me again.

You claim your parents criticize you, but as Arnold Schwartsenaiger(the (I think ex) governator) said "do not listen to the nay sayers". Believe in yourself and be confident in what you do. You are still young and haven't any idea as to what love is. The closest that you can get to (or by some chance this is may be false) is some guy who claims to like you, you get in a fight and bam you can't stand to see anybody anymore. But later in your life, as you get wiser, you will see what that love is all about.

Im not very sensitive anymore, I've pretty much lost a lot of feeling. Everything is dull, I get no excitement unless Im doing what I want to do. Try doing activities you like that will help you meet people, those will build confidence. Hold on young one, your life is only beginning, let it flourish in Gods love and grace. Live like every day is your last and make friends rather than enemies.

You are never alone, God is always there by your side, holding you up when you are hurt and shedding His light of love into your darkness. God bless

Just 1 Question....

What makes you think you won't find love and be loved and want to wake up in the morning.

You're 15 years old... you've barely started your life.

STOP looking for love. START living your teenage life. Enjoy it because it's SHORT.

You're gonna miss being young and having no worries. I know you might think the weight of the world is on your shoulders right now but trust me if you have a roof over your head, a decent family and food on the table you aren't doing that bad.

Trust me, you are beautiful, i would love a girl like you! I guess the problem is your personality/confidence, if you show a lack of confidence guys will see this. You are only 15...you have soooo much time to find a guy, don't worry and try to stay positive.

Please dont give up on life. Think of how sad your friends would be if you left them. I know what it feels like to not be loved. Its a terrible feeling that no one should have to go through. Its not fair that a beautiful girl like you has to suffer so much. Dont surrender to lifes challenges, things will change but you have to take the first steps to make the change. God made you in his image and gave you life for a reason. Its up to you to find that reason and that is what life is. I know it seems that he has given up on you but thats not true. God has to break you down in order to build you up. Please email me if you would like to talk. Mooduhcow@gmail.com

You really are beautiful Maria. Please do not doubt yourself.

"everything will be ok in the end, if its not ok, its not the end"

I am your age and I saw your picture, you are indescribably gorgeous! It would be a shame if you harmed yourself. Trust me I am very picky when it comes to picking out beautiful girls but you are really pretty. Let your problems go away and stay pretty :)

wow ur beautiful! im 14 and i would love to go out with you seriously! i got depression and im suicidal but keep in there :) your a beautiful girl and any guy would by lucky to have you! i know how you feel ;)

Omg... If this is for reals, don't kill yourself. If you really need to talk to me you can email me at meg_wagoner@ymail.com, but only of this is real. No judgements made. PLEASE PLEASE don't kill yourself . I know u seem alone, but your not. Think of all the things you could be leaving behind if you do kill yourself.

please please have faith in god.

he has always been there for you and always will.

don't worry. only 15 years of your life has gone by. we're in our teenage years.

we're supposed to have fun! just have fun and keep writing your beautiful songs.

take off your mask and be yourself.

stay strong! good luck with your songwriting :)