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Song lyrics for your review?

Here's a song I wrote a couple years ago.

Swimming With Daffodils

She works late at Hot Topic

She’s lookin’ kinda mean

Fifty pierces showing

And her blue hair’s fairly clean

Skin tight, holed-out jeans,

Pushed by about two-fitty,

You could be a true Christian

And still say she’s sort of pretty

CHORUS

And she’s followed her heart, changing her name

To something she really feels

Her mother used to call her Jane,

Now she’s Swimming With Daffodils

She left family in a fight

One bag that she could carry

Did whatever she wanted

Then married military

Freedom was ten times better

Than stares at the exchange

All the neighbors marveled

How she left and didn’t change

CHORUS

BRIDGE

Now she finally made her place

In a city that doesn’t mind her

And she’s found her path to faith and grace

Should one day her husband find her

She works late at Hot Topic

She’s lookin’ kinda mean

Sixty pierces showing

Her bright green hair’s fairly clean

Skin tight, holed-out jeans,

Pushed by about three-fitty,

You could be Wiccan just like her

And still say she’s sort of pretty

CHORUS

And she’s followed her heart, changing her name

To something she really feels

Her mother used to call her Jane,

Now she’s Swimming With Daffodils

And she’s followed her heart, changing her name

To Swimming With Daffodils

Swimming With Daffodils

Swimming With Daffodils

Laughing Dolphin Music

Update:

She's a big girl, hon. Actually, I morphed two real people to do this piece. There was a girl who became a Wiccan in Washington state, and there was a girl I used to guard in the mall in Nevada (guess which store?) and I put them together. The Wiccan girl's name was changed slightly to protect her true identity.

2 Answers

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  • 9 years ago
    Favorite Answer

    Reads something like Steve Earle or Tom Waits might do. I think they are great lyrics. Thanks for sharing. Take care

    dave

  • 9 years ago

    Sounds pretty good... except why is she changing her name to Swimming with Daffodils? That's a bit confusing. And what's two-fitty and three-fitty supposed to mean?

    I'm guessing that this is a country song?

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