What is it like to have an eating disorder?

i've been through anorexia and binge eating disorder, and the main thing i felt in both cases was a lack of control. when i had binge eating disorder i felt helpless and unable to stop myself from eating everything in sight. and when i had anorexia, i couldn't force myself to eat.

Eating Disorder or Disordered Eating???

It sucks. It really sucks. I don't even have a severe eating dissorder but what I go through sucks. I can barely eat anything, I am just so incredibly picky with the foods that I enjoy... It is slightly depressing actually because when I'm sitting in my house completely starving and wanting to eat, we have a kitchen filled with foods that I just hate. It isn't that I won't try foods, I will try any food! It is just rare that I ever like a food and the foods that I DO like are so expensive! The thing is, I am very OCD and have always had this thing about eating healthy, I don't like unhealthy foods and that just sucks because healthy foods are expensive and I just don't have the money for it! So I find myself going to the grocery store almost every day just for a meal and it usually takes me a good hour just to find anything to eat and most of the time I just end up leaving with a pack of strawberries... deliscious, but that isn't going to fill me. I don't know, I just wish I wasn't so picky... Being picky is an awefull thing and I seriously can not help it.

It's hell.

Your body is cannabalizing itself because you're not giving it what it needs to survive. Your organs are working overtime to keep you upright and alive. Eventually, you can't do it. You can't stay upright, you get fatigued over the smallest things and you pass out. You eventually don't care because you are so sick and out of it. By this time, people often do not survive. If you're lucky and you get help, get to treatment, a hospital, etc...then you live. With the help of doctors and support groups and therapist, you have to reprogram your thought patterns...see yourself as you really are, not what you thought you were. You have to deal with pain differently, head on, which is often more painful than anything.

But that's only if you live long enough.

eating alot