What is it like to have an eating disorder?

You feel ashamed, helpless, and in pain every day. The lack of nutrition makes it so your mind works even worse than it already does from the disorder, so you don't always think logically and seem in a fog all the time. You feel constantly exhausted. You feel incredibly weak. You hunch your back, it's hard to stand yourself up because of lack of food. Your voice sounds weak and hoarse from puking. More than anything you want to save yourself and start eating, but you're physically and mentally unable to because the disorder consumes you. This strong desire to be free combined with the mind-controlling disorder makes you feel hopeless, like you're in a prison. Worst of all, everyone around you can not only eat normally, but enjoy it. Seeing them doing something that is so difficult for you reminds you of your failure to beat the disorder. Depression, helplessness, burning self-anger and weakness.

Eating Disorder or Disordered Eating???

E-mail me for an in depth account of my eating disorder. I'm not going to post it publicly for fear of triggering others.

CONSTANTLY thinking about food, calories, what it will do to you and such. Extreme fear of gaining weight and feeling incredibly disappointed and other negative emotion if you do. Somewhat of a distorted body image.