Help re: probably mentally ill sister (long), any suggestions?

Question

My sister is 53 - I will call her Mary. Six months ago she seemed to have a break with reality. Mary called her 30-year-old daughter, said her husband was trying to kill her and her best friend was helping him. There doesn't seem to be any validity to what she's said, and a few days later, Mary suddenly started singing the praises of her husband and his family. (From what she's told us when she was not acting this way, her in-laws tend to "long-term borrow" items like lawnmowers and yard equipment and never bring them back, then complain when Mary and her husband have to buy another newer one - "why can't you buy one for us?")

The night that this "break" happened, Mary was taken to a psych facility who did an exam, said there was nothing wrong with her. However, she had no insurance, and we believe this contributed to their turning her out after an hour. She did go to her regular doctor at her daughter's insistence, but Mary didn't tell the doctor about THESE symptoms. Now she won't go back because "there's nothing wrong with me."

In the past 6 months, Mary has gotten worse. From what we can determine, she seems to have some form of schizophrenia, probably paranoid schizophrenia. When she visits our parents, she'll suddenly look at them and say she has to go now, she can't stay, and she <quote> *knows* what's going on <unquote>. Other times she'll tell them and/or her daughter and/or friend that she knows everyone has their phones wired so they can monitor her cellphone calls. She tells our parents that her husband has THEIR home wired so he can monitor her moves and her phone usage (including cellphone usage).

Mary upset our Thanksgiving by being so suspicious about everything. Our parents are in their 80's and don't need this stress. However, Mary's husband never visits or calls us. His take on it when it first happened was "Well, I'll be going to my lawyer tomorrow and filing for divorce." As for Thanksgiving, he said "that's how she's been acting here, I figured the change of scenery would help her out." (in other words, it's our problem, not his)

The reason I write is b/c of the Newtown, Connecticut shooting. While she doesn't seem dangerous to anyone, I don't want to take a chance on her becoming the next "unstable" statistic. We have no idea of how to help get her treatment. She lives in another state, has no insurance, but is getting worse. Doesn't seem to be any form of Alzheimer's Disease, just sheer paranoia. Our family has very little resources, but makes too much for Medicaid, and her situation is the same. However, her home state *does* have a provision that if a patient needs it, they will put the patient on some form of Medicaid on a temporary basis.

We don't know where to go from here. Do we start calling lawyers from her home state? Would it do any good to contact psychiatrists when she refuses to go? We can't have her committed unless she's a danger to herself or others, but ,,,,, I don't want to wait until she reaches that point. I'm sure it would do her some good to talk to a psychiatrist except she says she doesn't need to talk to anyone, she's "FINE"!

Any help would be appreciated.

flyingdebris · Accepted Answer

I would say you should talk to a lawyer.
There isn't a lot you can do, though. Unfortunately the only way to force treatment on someone is to get them committed or have a judge order them to do so.
Schizophrenia usually presents before someone's fifties, but it could still be schizophrenia. She seems to be in a psychotic episode, at the least.
She doesn't have insight into her condition, so she isn't likely to voluntarily seek or accept treatment. I would explore your legal options.
I wouldn't worry as much about her becoming a dangerous statistic. People with schizophrenia have violence levels that are the same as the general population. They are more vulnerable to crime and violence than they are likely to commit it.

Im_Raised_Again@Yahoo.com · Answer

Any support from the family, minus the husband, will indeed be very stressful to say the least. Being that Sister is way older than someone who isn't settled, has made the view of the situation a bit more, complicated. you may be able to apply for Power of Attorney. You will need to talk to a lawyer in order to start the process, and compile evidence of the patient's mental instability. In most states, the hospital can only hold a person in custody for 24 to 72 hours.

? · Answer

Good Charles Manson used to be no christian, till he began getting the notion he probably Jesus.Oddly when he was once incarcerated for the Tate-Lo Bianco murders, he wrote ": Scientology" on his gaol admission varieties below religion. But there is no evidence that he had ever belonged to any department of the Church. It is most likely Manson was just having fun with the idea of screwing with the authorities in some small manner. He's famed for that along with his gaolers. To be able to answer your query, yes. Without doubt atheists undergo from delusional disorders too. Normally at in regards to the same rate as persons who've a religion in something or different. We're all human, after all...

Madison · Answer

Take full advantage of any help her home state offers! I suggest to visit her and calmly explain to her that the family thinks there may be something wrong with her and that having going to a doctor wouldn't hurt and would make everyone that loves her feel a lot better. One key thing is to make sure she knows that you are coming from a place of love! 


Also it is very rare for, even a violent person with mental illness, to actually kill anyone.

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Help re: probably mentally ill sister (long), any suggestions?

4 Answers