How important is a wedding day?

Subjective. What I consider to be "nice" wouldn't be your cup of tea. For instance, you want ice sculptures? I consider them a huge waste of money. What about that makes the day any nicer than the extra $2000 you saved by NOT having them? It's shaped frozen water...whoopi.

Th wedding day should reflect the couples taste and I do agree with you that it is two lives becoming one, but again, my wedding may sound completely po-dunk to you but I considered it VERY nice. All that mattered was that my husband and I were there. It was a fun day with our families.

I don't consider the wedding DAY of the utmost importance. Really, anyone can put on fancy clothes and have a fancy party and invite whomever they choose. All that REALLY matters is your "I Do's" to each other.

Of course you want your day memorable, but I didn't want to spend my day and all the days leading up to it stressing that every single detail was perfect and that everything was going to go right. A wedding is nice, but a happy marriage is nicer.

The marriage is what's important. The wedding day is essentially just a party. And no, not every girl "dreams" of a perfect wedding day.

'Nice" is relative. I went to a wedding reception that was held in a castle and had 300 guests, every type of food you could imagine, flowers covering nearly everything, a big bridal party in designer clothes, a few different DJ booths, and expensive liquors. And I also went to a wedding with 50 guests where the ceremony was in the park and the reception was at a local restaurant with music and booze and good food (but no DJ or even dancing, no video guy, and only two bridal party members).

The smaller wedding was hands-down my favorite of the two, because my friends were there and we had a great time. And I would absolutely classify both weddings as "nice."

It's your prerogative to have an ice sculpture, but unless the thing is dispensing $100 bills I can pretty much guarantee you that nobody will care about it (I just attended a wedding with THREE ice sculptures and nobody said a word about them). And I personally think it's pretty silly to throw away the chance at a honeymoon just to have some frozen ice at your party ... but again, it's your right to have one if you have the cash for it.

A "nice wedding" is all in how you treat people. There are plenty of couples out there who get so caught up in their "wedding vision" that they neglect the guests ... guests won't care about the perfect sunset in the background or your $10k gown and the giant ice sculpture if they don't have seats and if the food is sucky and if the bride/groom has a crappy attitude. They won't notice if the cake is lopsided, but they WILL notice if you're angrily stomping around the room with a puss on your face and constantly complaining about how unacceptable it is for your perfect day.

Here's how to make a wedding nice - provide the best food and drinks you can afford. Have some decent entertainment. Make sure everyone has comfortable seating. Walk around and talk to people, be gracious and hospitable and thank them for coming, and dance and have fun. Laugh at the little mishaps (because they WILL happen, no matter how much money you spend). People will remember your wedding in a positive light if the food was good, the drinks were free, the entertainment isn't awful, if they were comfortable and taken care of, and if you were nice to them and grateful that they could be there with you ... they honestly don't care about the other details as long as you get those five things right.

There is a lot of middle ground between going to the courthouse, having "a wedding with things just thrown together," and having a big, costly event. You don't have to spend a fortune to have it be *special*.

In short, you need to look at it two ways to keep things in perspective. Yes, it's an important day that celebrates two lives becoming one. In that regard, I can understand the desire to have it be nice. On the other hand, the average cost of a wedding is around $28,000, and at the end of the day, you don't GET anything but the same thing you'd have for $60 at the JP's office. I'd pick a few "big ticket items" that you want to spend on (for me, it would be food, drink, and music), and other details like decorations, flowers, favors, all the other details, can be tweaked to accommodate a realistic and reasonable budget. Still nice, but not over the top.

I imagine you are getting married in winter then ? I mean ice sculptures would not hold up in the heat. I am with you actually and we spent over 25K on our wedding day, that did include a week in a mountain top villa in Spain though.

I did everything right down to the last detail, you cant imagine how much fun I had and I just kept spending. It was THE most amazing day of my life and my husbands too, everyone that came 3 years ago still talk about it.

I would say go for it, have your memories but try to get at least weekend away somewhere to relax after.

Best of luck.

How important is it to you and your honey?

THAT is your answer.

It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. If you and your sweetie want to go all out for your wedding - that's great! If you two want to do an at-home ceremony and then have a backyard bbq, that's awesome too!

It all depends on what the two of YOU want to do.

I've had two weddings. They were both typical church weddings with a reception afterward with a DJ. I had a great time at both, unfortunately neither marriage worked out. For me, it was about getting married and I wasn't as wrapped up in all the details as some women were. Of course things went awry on each of those days, but it's all about making the right choice in your mate and planning the rest of your lives together, not just one day.

I wish for nothing but the best for you two and hope you enjoy your wedding day, whatever you decide to make it! :-)

Of course a wedding day is very important, it's the time when you two join together and become one as husband and wife. Whether it's in a courthouse or in some extravagant venue, that doesn't deem it any less special. If you and your fiance want a nicer wedding looking wedding, by all means, it is your special day and you can do whatever pleases you.

I did the whole shabang...in a way I'm glad I did in a way, it went by in such a blink of an eye, I hardly remember the thoughts that were in my head, and now I have all these relics left behind from that day..wedding dress, photos, champagne glasses, video, boquet...and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with all of it. I haven't even read whwat people wrote in our guestbook because I'm just too sad that it's over with and I looked forward to it all my life....yes, I'm happily married to my new husband, yes it's all lovely and wonderful, but the wedding day was just a day, with a special moment when we said I do...other than that, it was just like any other day, and I really feel like the idea of what a wedding is going to be like is overrated...the idea that you are going to feel any different that you already should feel (about marrying your fiance') or that you are going to be in a fluffy cloud or that you even get to relish int he moments as much as you expect, are all unrealistic. I would definently say it's worth it to make your wedding speical, but to go over the top, is a waste. I found that I look back on that day more and more fondly as time goes by, and it's strange to look down at my hand and realize I'm married already, and everthing I went through to get to the state i'm in now seems like way too much. Crying over inviations, stressing over what everyone will wear, if the flowers are perfect.....

I'd keep it simple, but special if I could do it all over again.

everyones perfect day would be slightly different. if a honeymoon isnt important to you then thats ok.

if it was me i would want to be able to afford a honeymoon and would budget accordingly so that i could have one.

your wedding will be special to you no matter what because you are marrying the man you love. your friends weddings may have looked thrown together to you but i am sure to your friends they were a dream wedding.

most people wont care about decor etc. what makes the day special is the people who are there.

All of it depends upon the woman and how constructed up of an picture she has of her marriage ceremony day. Some women start planning their marriage ceremony lengthy earlier than they're even engaged! It can be crazy, and that i have no idea why. There may be mainly all varieties of distinctive explanations... Societal photos of marriage ceremony and marriage, father and mother' expectations, even the movies that any one saw when they have been young can all have an impact on how obsessed they are about it. Individually, I did not care that a lot, however individuals around me had been just bombarding me about marriage ceremony stuff. I sooner or later was once executed with it and stopped obsessing over the whole lot and realized that all the "showy" stuff did not matter and it used to be all about my husband and that i having fun with the day and being with each and every other. We had a tiny finances that we could not go over, so we fairly made the day about us and now not unique all people else on "our" day.

I say have a small, inexpensive wedding with only the important people in your life, now THAT's a special wedding!! Based on the years of my mother bringing up how she didn't have a honeymoon.. I say less money on the wedding, more money on a honeymoon!!