My mom is completely insane? ?

i honestly think my mother is insane. no body can stand her, she is a complete phyco path. Some ranodm nummebr was texting her phone and i texted back and i said " who is this" and she went insane. i never heard the end of it. she took my to my grandmothers house who i hate very much for 4 days. she used to get drunk EVERY singe night and call the cops EVERY single night, because she thought that i was trying to kill her while i was up in my room not saying a word to her. ( this was going on from about me being 3 years old to me being about 9 - 10 years old). one night she locked herself in the house and she had knives out and she was about to kill herself, and then the neighbors came and she acted completely normal, she was just like " hi sorry my tv is so loud". she is a TERRIBLE raging drunk. she took me to juvy because i called her a liar. she i married to my father ( idont know how).

she can be completely normal during the day but shes still a ***** and shes still kinda crazy but for her its normal. i have one friend, but were bsically like sisters, and her mom is absolutely awesome. i died on tiny tiny peice of my hair red and my mom took me to the police statin, my friend tied her WHOLE head read her mom didnt care? she just had to get it died out becsue she was on the volley ball team and they wouldnt allow her to have it. I just cant take her anymore, and i cant go to a counceler because im scared they might arrest her or take me away or something. i just dint know what to do, i love her very much, she is my world but i really dont know how i still love her. everybody else has just given up on her. i honeslty dont know what to do please help.

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